SONY Wants To Ruin Everything

A master plan by Sony was uncovered earlier today by the brave people of IGN’s investigative reporting team. What is this plan? Well, isn’t it obvious? Sony plans to ruin everything that we hold dear.

According to our comrades in journalism at IGN, Sony is planning to change the look and design of its Playstation 3 game boxes. This kind of evil corporate action can never go unnoticed under the watchful eye of video games journalism always looking out for Sony’s devious plots for world destruction.

Reportedly, it’s also believed that the reason behind this change is to make Playstation 3 game boxes match the aesthetics of existing Playstation 4 and Playstation Vita game boxes.

As Playstation gamers will know, the last time Sony nearly blew up the Earth was when they changed the Playstation 3 box designs in 2009. But luckily, these plans were once again intercepted by the brave people of video games journalism and averted what possibly could have been a visual disaster.


As one can see from the images, the new Playstation 3 box design includes a blue stripe adorning the top of the box, just like the boxes for Playstation Vita and Playstation 4 video games.

The real conflict at the heart of this issue is the color change’s impact on video game players, so as always UnleashTheFanboy wants to tell the personal stories of individuals who are most affected by these events.

John Lennon (no relation), an unemployed cashier at the supermarket that sometimes sells games said; “I am sorely disappointed that Sony has decided to go with this direction for their products. I used to be an avid consumer – a fanboy, even – but now I am not sure if I will be able to get over this news.”

Mr. Lennon was clearly a little shook up by it but was resolved to “give it a chance.” On the other hand, Scott McPherson felt much more strongly upon being told of Sony’s plans.

“F*ck Sony!!1! Why are they trying to make everything look the same? Before, it was easy to tell the difference between PS3 and PS4 games, now I actually have to read what number it says on the box. It’s ridiculous that a major corporation like Sony isn’t going to cater to my every wish and make everything more convenient for my own personal tastes.”

However, Sony’s plans to ruin everything that we ever cared for are not stopping some fans from exercising their rights to defend themselves from the evil of blue striped boxes. Kasey Ohnerman, leader of a group of fans calling themselves “Fans Who Stand Outside Stores and Repackage Game Discs” because of the fact that they plan to stand outside a video game store offering to repackage customers’ games from the new blue striped boxes to the regular gray ones, said “We think that customers should have a choice over whether they want the blue or gray boxes, but if Sony doesn’t want to offer people that choice, then we are. We are going to stand outside stores and help customers repackage their discs into the regular gray boxes because that seems like the most sensible idea.”

When asked what they would do with the leftover blue striped boxes, Ohnerman said that they plan to “burn the boxes to the ground because only by causing unnecessary destruction to the environment will we send a clear message to Sony that blue-themed boxes are not okay.”