5 Reasons We May Never Get A LEGEND OF ZELDA Movie

By on Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

What’s up, fanboys and fangirls! Hyrulians and Kokiris! Goblins and Gerudos! Multi-Verse back at you to shoot you another “load” of a Top 5 lists! This time I’m tackling one of the biggest video game franchises ever: The Legend Of Zelda, and the top 5 reasons we may never see a live-action film! So strap on your Master Swords and guard your loins, ’cause this may get bumpy!

5. Video Game Movies Suck

image

It has been proven one too many times that Hollywood doesn’t know a damn thing about video games, or how to translate them on to the big screen. For as long as I can remember, video game-based films have been…for lack of a better word, SHIT! Through no fault of thier own, mind you. It’s just Hollywood big wigs have been complete dumbasses when it came to staying true to the source material (or in some cases tried too hard to stay true to the source material when it wasn’t warranted). Yes, we have had those few exceptions when they get it right. The first Mortal Kombat is proof to that (I don’t give a damn what anyone says, Mortal Kombat was freaking awesome!!! The sequel was trash…total trash!). That’s one of the things preventing any studio from trying to bring The Legend Of Zelda to the big screen. There’s not a studio in all of Hollywood that wants to be the one to produce a craptacular Zelda film. Which leads me to..

4. The Studios Are Pussies!

imageLike I said before, not a single studio wants to be the one to screw up Zelda! They’re afraid of the Super Mario Curse, a curse that’s plagued VG Movies ever since ’93! They don’t want to disappoint the Zelda fans, nor do they want to alienate non-players and pure movie fans that don’t know the difference between Hyrulians and Keebler Cookie Elves! It’s a double edged sword. If you mess up on either side, you’re gonna find yourself with a band new a-hole! Now, don’t get it twisted. The studios don’t really give a rat’s ass about us or them. They care about green, a.k.a the dead presidents. If they think it’ll make them money, you’re damn skippy they’re gonna try to do their best at making the best movie possible. As long as it makes money. I guarantee you this: If Assassin’s Creed and Warcraft ( the next two VG based films due out in the next couple years) are huge, gigantic, mega blockbusters, then hell yeah! Zelda will not be far behind!

3. It’s Too Darn Epic

image

The Legend Of Zelda is, bar none, the most EPIC video game of all time! It’s literally made that way. Each game is a journey of epic proportions. Even the handheld installments like Minish Cap, Four Swords and Link Between Worlds are sprawling adventures that take you to different lands and dimensions. Every game has its own narrative, but plays a part in the overall epic tale that is The Legend of Zelda! Another thing you have to take into consideration is where do you begin?! Sure, logically you would want to start with the first game, but as Hyrule Historia has taught us, the story trully begins with Skyward Sword! But Ocarina of Time and Twilight Princess have much deeper and compeling stories. Where do you begin?!

2. The Rent Is Too Damn High!!!

image

We are still quoting that guy with the testicle-shaped beard on his chin, right?.. Right?! Anyways, if a studio was to put the plan in to motion for a Zelda flick, it would most likely be made to be a trilogy! However, without factoring that fact in at all, the first film alone would have to cost roughly about $40-80 million! That’s probably not even including the preproduction costs…maybe!! So what studio is going to want to risk that much cash on a potentiol flop!? I do not use the term “flop” loosely. Of course opening weekend for a Zelda movie is gonna be ginormous, but word of mouth is like wildfire these days. Word of mouth can make or break a movie’s following week revenue. Take Guardians of The Galaxy into account. That movie is still number one in its…what, fourth or fifth week!? That’s the power of word of mouth! People go see it. It’s spectacular! They tell their friends to go see it, whether it be face-to-face or all over social media and whatnot! So, should Zelda open. God forbid, it sucks holy hellfire! Word of mouth will sink that boat faster then the Titanic!

1. Nintendo Said NO!!!

image

Nintendo’s president, (insert Japanese or Chinese,name here! Just kidding, that’s racist…but I seriously, I can’t tell!) Satoru Iwata (Japanese! Just googled him…he’s Japanese…please no hate mail!) has been quoted on some occasions, when asked about a Zelda movie, to saying that Nintendo itself would produce such a film and not have an “American” studio produce it. Some speculate Nintendo is still pissed with “Mario-Gate ’93” and is afraid to allow any of thier properties be made into feature films by American studios…so they say! I’m not saying it’s true, but I would not be surprised if it is! And honestly…I dont blame him. This is Zelda we’re talking about here. The greatest adventure game of ALL TIME! You can’t leave it up to chance! It has to be done right or not at all!!

I, for one, hope to see a Zelda movie in my lifetime, whether it’s animated or live action. Anything would be nice at this point! It’s something that needs to happen! Heres hoping!

Thats gonna shut me up for now! Be sure to check out my blog Insidethemultiverse.wordpress.com on a future follow up to this blog ( I’m working on a title! Don’t rush me!). Also, if you have anything to say about my views here. I dare you to come say it to my face!! OR, you can hit me up on twitter @GonzoNeo or you can comment somewhere below! Thanks for joining me.

So, until next time folks…peace out!

S#!T Talking Central

  • VirgilHawkins

    I wouldn’t go so far as to say the first Tomb Raider movie sucked. Surprised you included a picture of that, but not any of the Resident Evil movies, which make bundles of cash btw.

  • fuckyou

    there are a lot of video game movies that did just fine or better. It’s 50/50 really which isn’t good enough odds for studios but they did gamble on Max Payne so studios logic just doesn’t make sense. Most of your reasons are poorly thought out, this is mostly an opinion piece. I can’t believe people like you get paid to write crap. The only valid reasons are 4 and 1, seriously get real.

  • Zelda64L

    If there were a Zelda movie, I have a few things I feel should be involved:
    1) I feel like it should be animated. Whether traditional or 3D doesn’t matter, but Zelda’s always had these artsy stysle about it and each game looks lovely in it’s own way. A movie would also have to be artsy. I want it to look gorgeous

    2) I want the movie to be more adventure oriented than action oriented. I’m not saying have the bare minimum of action, put in epic sword fights and duels please! But, I am scared that a Zelda movie might be filled with too much action. I want the adventure and story to remain a priority.

    3) I want the movie to be it’s own story, but I want it to be very similar to a traditional Zelda story i.e. takes place in Hyrule, involves Ganon and the Triforce, yada yada. I feel that the reason so many video game movies are so bad is because, like you said, they try to stick to the source material too much, or not at all. I want a prefect meeting of the too. I want the movie to be extremely influenced from games, but not be an adaption of Ocarina of Time for example. I think that if it will simply be a movie version of Ocarina of Time, the expectations will be so high. Make a new story, there’ll be more room to experiment and less ways to disapoint fans.

  • AskTheQuestions

    Sorry mate but this is a rubbish article/list. Even if these five points are decent reasons why a live action Zelda movie will never happen, your actual process in each point is poorly thought out and poorly presented.

    1. Your love of Mortal Kombat doesn’t mean it was a well made film. It was garbage, and it does not stand out as any kind of exception to the point you’re trying to present.

    2. Not wanting to screw up the Zelda movie by butchering it would require a studio to even give a damn what LoZ is as well as have even one person to give a damn enough to step forward and say “Hey I want to make a movie about the Legend of Zelda.” A lack of these persons is far more likely the problem, and not the fear of failure.

    3. The very nature of the Legend of Zelda series means a new adventure each time, so why would a studio attempt to recreate ANY of the stories from the games, let alone ALL of them, and in sequence? This is just a ludicrous concept, and any film made would have its own story.
    4. Making something epic comes down to the commitment to make something epic with passion and hard work, and if the effort is put in and the funds used wisely, like, for example, the Lord of the Rings, then the end result is not something a studio would fear, it’s something they would have full confidence in.

    5. And seriously dude, all you had to do, was say that Nintendo president Satoru Iwata wants it to be a company project only. All that rambling and bullshitting on about Japanese, Chinese NOT SURE LOL is just amateurish and annoying. Nobody wants to read your blog style gibberish while waiting for you to get to the point.

    • Andrew King

      Nicely put.

  • Michael D’oremi

    It’s not impossible. Just impractical. If you do your homework, you’ll see that it is feasible. Sony and Avi Arad were in talks to do an animated Super Mario Bros. movie. In 2004, Nintendo had Ang Lee on to direct a Metroid movie. It’s not like they don’t want to do a movie, they just want to do it right. If you go to my youtube page, I have a series of theatrical trailers to illustrate my idea to pitch the movie to Hollywood. It’s getting those yay-hoos on the phone is the problem. Anyway, this is part 1 of a theoretical 5 part epic franchise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCfUyWNQk-E

  • Michael D’oremi

    Here’s one of my better ones. Part III: Link’s awakening. HEY FANBOYS!!! Help spread the word!!!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAlI82uGLR0

  • shelly

    the only video game based movie that i actually like was tekken.

  • WhitecapProductions

    Another problem will be the pairings. We all know the studios are going to have problems with this. Zelink vs. whatever Ganon X Zelda is and what not. We all know it’s bound to happen. And, because of the way our media is going, it’s going to have to be one way or another, because nowadays we can’t have a movie without romantic garbage in it. Even the Zelda games have been tainted with it! That’s the main reason I actually don’t want a movie of The Legend of Zelda. It would be too conflicting for the fandom and make some fangirls and boys irate with the producer and director’s decisions.

  • Carissa Fei

    People are forgetting about the sly cooper movie coming out. Never play the game but still want to watch it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbXEKZVonko

    Or fake Portal trailer:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4drucg1A6Xk

    Or things like gritty reboots:
    https://www.youtube.com/user/GrittyReboots

    Its always possible. If you heard in the sony leaks, nintendo was talking to sony about a possible movie. It could of been any of their characters.

    Ive seen plenty of fan made ones that are pretty good like the western theme Zelda: fistfull of rupees
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UunpCv7kKHwz

    Its just if they do make changes, they need it so it doesn’t piss the fans. The changes should just make sense and appeal to what the character was originally. Marvel movies have been successful because of this idea. Guardians of the Galaxy was great because not only it was great costumes, the characters were there, but it did appeal alot of nostalgia because the music made the pacing of the movie. You just need the right formula to make a good movie in general. But it just takes many many years before good movies actually roll out.

    Good and Bad flick also does an analysis of Silent Hill:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfEnsMWYisI

    4. Its a bad argument because any movie you make is always a risk. They always project their budget and money to see if it does well in the box office. Any movie is a risk, but just video games are a bigger game gamble. We just haven’t found the director yet to make a good movie.

    3. There is alot of epic stories. Its not a good argument either. Star Wars although not a video game movie, is an epic story, Star Treck is an epic story. There is a movie or show where something is super epic that it spans many series and episodes. Star Wars did not start in chronological Order and Nether did the Meloncholoy of Haruhi Suzumiya. You can start anywhere as long the audience can follow the story of the main movie.

    2. So? Just because there is alot of money involve, that doesn’t mean hollywood doesn’t want to make it. Almost every movie is expensive to make, including all the effects involved. And Well not a good arguement because Marvel has been doing well to make plots readable for a generic audience and the fans. And you can’t still project that because we haven’t made a Zelda movie. We just got the wrong directors at the right time. Don’t blame everyone.

    1. As said Nintendo was negotiating with Sony. Im not sure if Nintendo didn’t say no, just advoid as much a possible. Not sure though the history of video game movies with nintendo besides mario.

  • Zelda playa

    I think it would be nice to have a Zelda movie with a type of art style and link doesn’t speak because Ganons wizard steals links voice to be able to open the chaber to where the triforce rests and he tries to get it back and his sister it taken (wind walker) and Zelda is found during the movie may sound pretty bad but I like it LOL

  • Joseph Chastain

    $40-$80 million isn’t a lot of money for a blockbuster film. DO your research. It’d be more likely to be $100-$200 Million.

  • Jonathan Steinfort

    Man I so badly want a LoZ film. I understand the whole Mario Movie and that fell flatter than a flapjack but it’s Legend of Zelda! Alright Nintendo take your grand old time to make it right but make it soon. We don’t have forever to wait you know. And by the way you morons over at Disney, WB, Sony and 20th Century, get the balls to cooperate with Nintendo to either do it right or step out of the way. Oh and Hollywood, can you like come up with something original for once instead of reinventing old movies, characters, and cartoons like I don’t know UNDERDOG and MR PEABODY. And please no more sequels to stupid films like SAW, Jurassic Park, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Top Stories