Hard time

Our First Ever WEIRD GAME WEDNESDAY: Hard Time

Welcome to the first ever Weird Game Wednesday at UTF, where me and some other writers will be joining you every week to show you the weirdest and craziest games out there at the moment.

Our first game i’ll be discussing is Hard Time, a sort of prison simulator (I mean that very, very loosely). As you can see the game isn’t a looker, but it’s sure as hell customizable. After naming my character I can change everything about him, there’s plenty of faces to choose from and they’re as ugly as they are hilarious. I can also change what sort of skills he has. I can make him strong, that’ll help him survive, or I can make him very intelligent and he might be able to escape prison eventually.

There’s four blocks for all the inmates, the North, South, East and west. After being royally escorted by the not so clever NPC’s that are the prison guards, you’ll soon be at home sweet home. Depending on your chosen crime the other inmates will treat you differently, some will make racist threats and some may offer you the chance to be in their gang. Whether you decline that invitation or not you’ll always be surrounded by violence, the idiotic prison guards even fight among themselves and there’s always weapons lying about. It’s pretty much the least effective prison ever.

Wow, that’s…that’s classy, MDickie. Real classy.

If I do want to accept the mini missions people hand out, if I have enough intelligence I can use a computer and find out everything about inmates and wardens. If I pass the mission i’ll get a reduced sentence, and if I fail or ignore it i’ll get a longer sentence.

Here’s the funniest thing about the game. The way the justice system works. For instance this is what the judge said after I shot a warden so many times that his arm fell off.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the justice system!

That’s right, I won the case. Apparently the court system is based on your characters popularity other than if they actually did anything wrong.

For a game that’s completely free (linkĀ here) Hard Time is one of the craziest and weirdest games out there. The controls are a bit wonky and sometimes the game just plays itself even if you’re not touching the keyboard but there’s a reason that’s it free. If you manage to beat the game you get a ‘where are they now?’ montage of all the other inmates… if you didn’t murder them all.

WARNING: There’s a 50/50 chance of getting a small virus with the download,so download at your own risk.

Swept off his feet



Michael Moore is Unleash The Fanboy’s main video game guy. You can follow his Tumblr blogĀ here.

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