You’ll Never Believe Who’s The New SPIDER-MAN. Tobey’s Back!!!

Yep. Tobey Maguire, the original Spider-Man of “Emo Dancing” fame, is returning to the silver screen as our favorite webhead. In a joint press release, Marvel Studios and Sony Pictures unveiled their new casting just weeks before the release of Avengers: Age of Ultron… as if that guaranteed-blockbuster needed any more buzz. Now the streets will be lined with fanboys and fangirls, ladened in popcorn-grease stained shirts, chanting like a horde of Raccoon City zombies “Tobey after credit scene! Tahhhhhhbey after credit scene!!! Spider-Man … blah blah blah… brains… hail hydra!”

This decision comes as a huge shock to all (especially fans of the Ultimate Universe’s Miles Morales), as recent reports indicated that Marvel sought a high school aged, preferably minority, actor for the role of Peter Parker. But I guess that’s just the way this whole ‘geek rumor news’ world rolls.

Here’s Marvel’s official tweet on the matter:

tobey maguire mcu spider-man

I don’t know how to feel about this. It’s a whirlwind of geeky, angsty emotions. On one hand, my inner 2000’s fanboy is absolutely geeking out. Tobey Maguire is THE king of superheroes. Well, he WAS the king of superheroes, and I’m absolutely pumped to watch that old dog school Marvel Studios’ current crop of actors.

But then again… I’m a bit partial to Miles Morales. He’s young, cool, and has a super sweet sling of new powers. I’ve always dreamed of seeing that Half-Rican swing around on the silver screen, with one hand on his web and another high fiving Stan Lee in the world’s cheesiest cameo.

Still, TOBEY FREAKING MAGUIRE is returning!!! I mean… he’s just the epitome of Peter Parker. Moreso than Andrew Garfield, who only ever served a lukewarm rendition of the classic science nerd. Seriously… how many skateboard montages does a single Spider-Man flick need? I know it was only one, but it scarred me!

Tobey’s back!!! What does this mean for the MCU? Will we receive a sneak peak in Avengers: Age of Ultron? Now that we’ve cast an older Spider-Man, will Kevin Feige retroactively integrate the original Spider-Man Trilogy into the MCU’s canon? Will Spider-Man actually unmask in next year’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier?

I just gotta know! This is AWESOME! SPECTACULAR!!!


Spiderman 2 movie image Tobey Maguire

Heyo. I'm Nick Dourian, the Editor-In-Chief around these parts. Now, I went to a few other sites, read a few awesome bios, and I really want to fabricate a badass origins story for myself, but I'm feeling particularly unimaginative today, so 'f' that jazz. I read comics, drink bourbon, and cook meats. Imagine Ron Swanson, but with a fuller beard and cuter eyes.
  • zach

    april fools

  • camaro_mang

    yay, very good news

  • vk at nyte

    april fools…really??

  • http://www.PlayLegit.Net/ KJ

    Y’all got me. Damn!

  • Superherologist

    Obvious joke and yet, now that I see it, it makes perfect sense. It would work well with Captain America: Civil War and could set things up for Miles Morales.

  • Kondorr

    You… almost got me… 😀

  • WHATpissesmeoff710

    april fools lol

  • Disqustd

    Also Dolph Lundgren confirmed to be the Punisher

  • Comic boy

    Is this True?

    • Anubhav Kumar

      You’ve been trolled =P

      • Comic boy

        Damn it I fought it was too good to be true!!!
        >:-( !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Adam

    It is April 1 in Melbourne Australia for another 15 Minutes

  • Dan Ekkusu

    GRRRR!!!!!! Miles sucks! Ultimate sucks!!!

  • Peter Jackson

    This actually made me go check Marvel’s Twitter to make sure they never tweeted this haha THANK GOODNESS IT’S NOT TRUE

    • Ethan Hall Griffin

      Rude -__- Wish it was true.

  • Timothy Ross

    april fool!

  • Scott Sandler

    Spider-Man caused the fall of SHIELD?

  • Apex Predator

    This is really fucking cruel. Fuck you Unleash The Fanboy


    So I guess everybody is jumping on the “April Fools Day prank” bandwagon today. It got old real quick.

  • Robert Blann

    of us who remember Marvel Comics back in the Mid-70’s to Late 80’s,
    back in the time when the comics made SENSE, the stories were
    CONSISTENT, etc., we KNOW what Spider-Man was supposed to act like, look
    like, and feel like, and Tobey Maguire WAS That
    Awesome version of Spider-Man! Those movies (or the first and second,
    at least) were SO accurate to those old, awesome comics, (some timeline
    stuff that always gets changed in Live-Action versions aside) that I got
    goosebumps while watching them in the Theaters! It took ME back to when
    I was a kid, and all the things I LOVED about Marvel Comics, before
    everything got convoluted, ridiculously bizarre, and way too Goth for
    even MY liking! Anyone who saw the Spike Awards when Tobey gave Stan Lee
    his Lifetime Achievement Award, and heard Stan’s speech KNOWS how Stan
    feels about Tobey’s portrayal of Spider-Man, and I have no doubt in my
    mind that he would be ecstatic, as would I, to see Tobey don the costume

  • Gaston Chaves

    winter soldier? april fools day is april the 1st not march 31

  • Gareth Raymour Harding

    wish this was true tobey was the best spiderman ever

    • Christian Valenzuela

      I don’t know this website, is it a satire one? I hate change as well as youth being used entirely as a blatant attempt to boost sales

  • Guest

    Damn! I thought they were serious. Fuck.

  • X-Instituto

    Dani Elfman is in Avengers 2, he is prepering aditional score. Dont forget he made Tobey Maguire’s Spiderman score

  • Darkness Dragon

    Thank god this shit ain’t real.

    Tobey Maguire is the worst thing to happen to Spider-man and Peter Parker.

  • Mr. Know It All

    Lol this is the first and last time I will visit this site.

  • LoverVideogame2 .

    I can’t wait for Tobey to be in The Avengers same with everybody!!!

  • The Boy

    why use a photoshop picture of toby, there are like thousand of real pics of him as spider-man all over the place

  • brittany

    unleash fanboy that wasnt even funny we know tom holland is playing spiderman you suck i aint coming back on this site freak