APOCALYPSE Looks Like Ivan Ooze From POWER RANGERS


I’m not going to pretend that I’m the first to observe this.

Earlier today, Entertainment Weekly published a ton of new details on X-Men: Apocalypse as well as our first (legal) look at the titular villain. I try not to delve into pure fan-wankery when it comes to movies like this and actually consider the amount of time, effort and money that went into creating the look, but that doesn’t stop the fact that he looks fucking awful.

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Look familiar?

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Come on – there’s a resemblance there. They’re both bright purple/blue (I don’t know – I’m colour blind) with fancy, ancient garb, the only difference seemingly being that one is supposed to be taken very seriously, although that might be a challenge for me come next May, since all I’m going to be able to think about will be Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. It’s a damn shame, too, considering how cool the character could have looked.

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When cosplay looks better than the real thing, you know you’ve done a bad job.

To continue, Oscar Isaac (the barely-recognisable man behind the make-up) revealed that Apocalypse is 5,000 years old in the movie as well as a few other interesting hints.

“He’s believed to be the first mutant, whatever that means. He is the ­creative-slash-destructive force of this earth. When things start to go awry, or when things seem like they’re not moving towards evolution, he destroys those civilizations.”

For somebody who hasn’t really read any comics featuring the character, I have to admit I’m intrigued from Isaac’s words. It’ll be nice to see a new villain in this franchise. If you hadn’t guessed from the cover, we also now know the identity of the Four Horsemen – Storm, Psylocke, Angel and Magneto. Some may be disappointed to learn that Wolverine isn’t in the line-up, but hey, we got Mags!

The Big A awakens from his Egyptian tomb, sizes up the global ’80s vibe, and decides he’s not down with the Reagan era. “It’s a chaotic world of conflict and war and destruction,” Singer says. “It’s one giant civilization that now requires one giant culling. That’s why he needs ­special assistants in this process.” He finds teenage Storm living on the streets in Cairo, Angel (Ben Hardy) duking it out in a fight club in Berlin, and Psylocke (Olivia Munn) working behind the Iron Curtain for the mutant-broker Caliban. But his big get is Erik, who has been attempting to live a “normal” life in Poland. “He’s fallen in love and he’s basically left his metal ways behind,” Fassbender says. Pretty quickly, though, his world is shattered and “normal” is no longer an option. Says Fassbender, “Apocalypse finds Erik at a low ebb and recruits him.”

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There’s a distinct lack of berries here *cough*

One of the interesting takeaways of the Comic-Con panel was that the world had learned to accept mutants after the events of Days of Future Past. That’s why it makes perfect sense for Erik to have retired and settled down somewhere, but I’m intrigued to learn how he gets thrown in with Apocalypse and what that does to him.

Even though I unashamedly bashed the look of the character, I’m still excited for X-Men: Apocalypse. I’ve never really been too invested in that franchise because of the number of terrible movies it contains and its separation from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Even as a child I found the trilogy strange and dull, although I’ve since learned to love X2. First Class changed my perception, and since then I feel as if I ‘get’ these movies – although I still thought The Wolverine was boring as shit. With Singer back at the helm, this movie will probably be pretty good. I’m just gonna pray that Apocalypse looks better on-screen, because at the moment he looks as if he belongs in the Power Rangers reboot.

Click back to EW to read a bunch more interesting details, and look below to see some more stills from the movie. X-Men: Apocalypse is out next May.

I thought that was Jesse Eisenberg in the background.

I thought that was Jesse Eisenberg in the background.

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The black-ops suits are back!

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“Aren’t I in the Pentagon?”

I got nothing.

I got nothing.