Blood, sex, and violence — these three elements have been long-standing ingredients of Grindhouse movies and, when blended appropriately, have contributed to some the genre’s greatest stories. Too bad Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight #2 isn’t one of them.

Here’s the official word from Darkhorse:

Just because Grindhouse #1 was the most messed-up comic you’ve read this year, don’t think #2 can’t top it! The bee vixens’ queen is ten feet of pissed-off buzzing stinger, and the only one left to stop her is shotgun-wielding, motorcycle-straddling Deputy Garcia. Good thing she don’t take no bull!

Yeah, like I said, Grindhouse #2 has all the basic ingredients that you’d expect of a comic with the Grindhouse moniker. We got big-breasted monsters in thong underwear; a shotgun wielding heroine with a fancy trick shot, and acres of bloody intestines. What it doesn’t have is a cogent or enjoyable story. Which is too bad, since issue #1 felt promising.

To be fair, writer Alex De Campi does start with the sliver of an interesting premise — a bee monster has invaded a Texas town and turned every women into a hybrid monster with bug eyes and insect wings (yes, all the women are hot, have big breasts and are perpetually half-naked). But the premise quickly turns asinine when we realize that the monster only wants to turn white women; the hero then, by default, is the *only* Mexican woman in town, who must strip down to her underwear, grab a shotgun, and save the day. Now don’t get me wrong — I know Grindhouse stories are supposed to be gratuitous and over-the-top. But they’re also supposed to be tightly plotted and expertly paced. Regrettably, Grindhouse #2 is none of these things. The plot is rambling; the pacing uneven.

Chris Peterson offers some beautiful art, however. And almost saves the day. Almost. His monsters are grotesque, his women voluptuous, and the man can illustrate a shotgun blast to the face like nobody’s business. But it’s still not enough to salvage this subpar issue.

Grindhouse movies succeed in large part thanks to the big emotions they invoke. Too bad Grindhouse #2 only got me feeling one thing in a big way: bored.

2/5