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CONTRARIAN FANBOY: Alan Moore, What’s With All The Rapes?


Trigger warning: rape and sexual violence.

The benefit of being the Contrarian Fanboy is that I get to think and write about the things that happen in the comics world that offend, upset, insult, or plain just don’t make sense to me. This time, though rather than saying “I hate/love this piece of generally worshipped/universally hated” artifact of nerdom, I’m going to harp on a writing tic that has become a bit of a crutch as of late.

As comics have “matured” (which is the word we use when we really mean to say “gotten more violent”), I’ve noticed an increased prevalence of rape and sexual violence as plot points or characterization. I can’t be alone in noticing this and I can’t be the only person put off by it (I hope).

Let’s not misinterpret what I’m saying here. I’m not saying that matters of sexual violence are immediately off-limits or that depicting them is automatically sexist. Many stories have dealt with sexual violence in a humane manner that is both respectful to people who have been victims of sexual violence and to the story/characters as well. What I’m talking about are the stories in which sexual violence is nothing more than

a) a generic character motivation meant to motivate a male “white knight” (“they raped and killed my girlfriend…this time, it’s PERSONAL!”)

b) a shorthand way of letting us know that a character is evil (he raped a woman on page one, of course HE’S EVIL!”)

c) a single note of personal history that comes to totally define a character, or

d) a single beat of plot-development that is never again revisited by the character.

Perhaps the reason rape is more and more common is because the worst abuser of rape-as-convenient-plot-point/bit-of-characterization is, sadly, my beloved Alan Moore. Alan Moore is probably the most respected comic book writer in the western fandom and it makes sense to me that the younger generation of writers would ape some of his tics. Unfortunately, as Moore has gotten older (or maybe as he’s decided that he no longer cares about comics as a medium and comic readers as an audience) he’s tended to use rape and sexual violence as a plot point in ways that demonstrate a kind of lazy callousness that I’d never have thought I could say about Moore. Even Grant Morrison, whose career owes a massive debt to Moore said that “We know Alan Moore isn’t a misogynist but fuck, he’s obsessed with rape.

Alan Moore: Obsessed

Let’s look at it by the numbers. There’s been an instance of sexual violence (much of it shockingly offhand and quickly dismissed or forgotten) in every major work Moore has written and in many of his minor works. Every volume of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen contains one instance of sexual violence (almost all aimed at Mina Murray). Lost Girls, his long germinating erotic adventure, veers between joyful sex and sexual violence so rapidly that I found myself wondering (however momentarily) if Moore even remembers the difference between the two. Neonomicon, his ode to Lovecraftian horror, features a grizzly rape. Tom Strong, his attempt to write an old-fashioned superhero comic has a rape (which is actually played as a punchline).

Batgirl was a casualty of this trope

Even his earlier works (which in my opinion tend to be better than his offerings from the last ten years) have a disturbing pattern of sexual violence. Watchmen, V For Vendetta, Killing Joke, Miracle Man each features a scene of sexual violence. And while many of these were treated with seriousness and humanity, still others were, in my opinion, both unnecessary and ultimately insulting.

Obviously the problem is bigger than Alan Moore, but Moore is often held up as the God of comic book writing and, just as often, as the conscience of comics. This lofty status means that what he does, like featuring so much rape, deserves some added reflection.

When Gail Simone wrote about the trend of women being “killed, raped, depowered, crippled, turned evil, maimed, tortured” as cheap story-telling contrivances, it should have instigated some soul searching among comic creators. What’s instead happened is not only an increase in depictions of sexual violence, but an increasing callousness in their depiction. Moore is an example of this sad trend too. If his depiction of sexual violence in Watchmen is (more or less) tactful, his depiction of rape in Neonomicon and the last few LoEGbooks has been callous and unnecessary.

Remember that this event changed this character in exactly no ways.

Like Gail, I’m not trying to cast “blame about an individual story or the treatment of an individual character and it’s certainly not about personal attacks on the creators”. I’m really not. And that’s why it sucks to have to use Moore as an example. I will always and forever have respect for Moore. He’s written a number of comics that are explicitly feminist and he wrote them when women in comics were little more than fanboy pin-ups. What troubles me is the ease with which he goes from writing rich and complex women characters to turning those same characters into victims of sexual violence.

The problem as I see it is that rape has gone from being a topic that signaled an author’s willingness to seriously address real problems to being a cheap shorthand for realism, emotional investment, and characterization. This problem is obviously bigger than just one writer. It’s about the whole medium. That this exists in tandem with a fan culture that is not just dismissive but often outright antagonistic to women goes a long way towards illustrating why it’s hard out there for a lady geek. When both the fans of a medium and the man considered to be the greatest living comic author both consider rape to be a perfectly acceptable way to delineate evil characters from good characters, then it makes sense that women would feel put off by the whole culture.

S#!T Talking Central

  • Irabbit

    Great article. It kind of terrifies me how easy it has become to just ‘throw a rape in there’ as character development or motivation.

  • Midas68

    Quite Absurd article. At least showing Watchmen and The Killing Joke. Watchmen portrayed rape as something committed by the most vile people who are so enticed and perverted by power.

    I remember in the Killing Joke Gordans niece(?) being shot but not sexually molested(thats two different things that you should know better, if your going to do a =I know better article.

    I don’t give two squirts about the League of Boring Gentleman so I couldn’t tell you if there are a hundred rapes or none.

    And Lost Girls is about Sexual Diversity. I never read it. But when someone tells a story about sex and society. Rape is a natural topic.

    Perhaps you can explain why rape is a cheap story plot in the others and why you feel the need to do a Holier then though article implying Alan Moore has some type of perversive fixation for Rape.

    Yes I know you probably got some cheap gag reflex on that (and will say thats not what you’re doing)but you should be able to ascertain from my reply without me saying that I think you’re a irresponsible hack. Funny how people use lack of simple base logic as a defense.

    And if you were a Comics fan, you would know that Grant Morrison is in a self sustained Feud with Alan Moore(where you been all this time)

    Remember
    Censorship is the first Refuge of the Coward!

    • Midas68

      I just have to repeat what you said.

      Even Grant Morrison, whose career owes a massive debt to Moore said that “We know Alan Moore isn’t a misogynist but fuck, he’s obsessed with rape.”

      That is so Off that I have to explain it to ya.

      Grant Morrison Hates Alan Moore, HATE HATE HATES HIM. Why
      Because he is JEALOUS as HELL.

      Why
      Because of people saying what you said. That he owes a Great Debt to Moore.

      Nothing gets him more riled up then when they used to call him Alan Moore Jr.

      Moore as he usually does, considerers him a Pompous Asshole. Which Im sure infuriates him even more.

      Dude, Morrison is conjuring spells to put on your head as you read this(look for some GhenKu Root)

      • Midas68

        And I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. So sorry about that. I did just read several Dumb Articles on the Morrison, Moore feud which has been going on for Decades. And find this article to be totally irresponsible.

        I don’t think Moore has enough respect for comics anymore to actually put out anything great. Or his Genius is gone. Genius has a very short shelf span. Which is fueled by Inspiration. Which has the same shelf life as they go hand in hand.

        Ah but it did shine the brightest of all when it did so.
        I really wish Morrison was good enough to carry on that level of story telling but he’s only achieved levels of Good Art. Nothing that could capture a quarter of the excitement that Moore, The Dark Night or Maus did in the 80’s.

        • Kevin

          I’m not exactly sure how this article is irresponsible with regard to Morrison. The quote is a direct one, he actually said that. And, as for saying that he owes his career to Moore: it seems to me to be a perfectly reasonable point. Moore paved the way for a certain kind of comic writing, writing that was intertextual and meta-textual. Writing that was as often about comics themselves as they were about the stories. Comics that are explicitly political. Moore’s popularity open up the possibility for more of this kind of writing. This kind of writing is very much what Morrison does. He can hate Moore all he wants, but the popularity of Moore’s work made comic publishers more willing to publish work like it.

          That’s all that I meant when I said that Morrison owes his career to Moore.

          I absolutely agree with your last thoughts. Moore’s star has fallen, but it can’t tarnish the great work he did in the past.. As I said in my article: I will always and forever have respect for Moore. He’s written a number of comics that are explicitly feminist and he wrote them when women in comics were little more than fanboy pin-ups. What troubles me is the ease with which he goes from writing rich and complex women characters to turning those same characters into victims of sexual violence.

          • Midas68

            Oh I totally agree that Morrison owes Moore a debt of gratitude and certainly not this jealous war that he purports to try and make himself more important then he is.

            Moore is the biggest and most influential writer since the original creators of the form. And certainly the most respected.

            But if you did articles about… the plight of the African American a few times. You eventually will get hit back by the same people you might be trying to help.

            Being attacked for portraying them as downtrodden and needing a handout etc. Many Liberals do this and they are starting to get back lash for this.

            Now doing a article on Alan Moore and questioning his fixation with rape is of course painting him as someone overly fixated with rape. Which is something people will tend to(and naturally so) feel that you are questioning his morality, and when you questions someones morality about rape, the next logical step is that he must be a sick man.

            Thats where the irresponsibility comes in, Especially if thats not what you are saying.

            I found out recently that not only Ghandi let his wife die because he refused her to have western medicine that would cure her, but he had himself taken the medicine to save his life weeks earlier.

            If I did a article on that, there is no way other then to imply that this widely acknowledged saint of our time. is a slime ball.

            But we know that Moore using extreme situations to point out things about people and cultures. And as you said, he can write as a feminist. Well if Moore was a Woman, the last thing you would have written is that she is overly concerned about rape.(i would guess) as you would come across as insensitive and probably condoning rape by her readers.

            It’s funny like that. But as I said. Your title and using Morrison’s accusations are the two tell tell signs of what people will take out of this.

            Anyway. I know it’s a deeper conversation.
            Take Care

          • reverendswann

            As I said in the piece itself, I do not think that Alan Moore is some kind of rape apologist. What I DID say is that he has tended to use rape as an ultimately inconsequential plot point in his books. That’s why I titled the piece the way I did. If I thought Moore was pro rape, I would have titled the piece “Alan Moore is Pro-rRpe.” Don’t believe me? http://www.unleashthefanboy.com/news/the-dark-knight-returns-fascist-power-fantasy/45802

            The problems, as I see them, are that using rape as he does is lazy and contrary to his own politics. If I need to say it outright then I will: I do NOT think that Alan Moore is some kind of rape perv. Anyone saying that I feel this way is making a straw man out of what I’ve said. But I DO think that AM has used rape as a shorthand for character development. Period. And that’s why it’s offensive to me. It’s not rape as an actual part of a story; it’s rape as shorthand.

            Does this mean I think, or am even implying, that he has a rape fixation? Absolutely not. I even said it directly in the piece itself. I think he’s being lazy. I don;t think he has a pervish rape fixation. To say I do is silly.

            As I said, what I’m asking for is more reflection from Moore. I get to use this forum as a place to say things that are not usually discussed in fandom. And one of those things is this: Alan Moore, great, feminist writer, gets away with using rape as a trope. It’s not cool. In fact, the way he does it is insulting. And that’s what I’m saying.

          • Midas68

            You have a point(or should since it’s your head) But you also keep skirting around it in a half ass way. Ill show you another way of looking at it..

            If I researched your articles and found either a slant against African Americans or that you never did a article on them at all and I felt compelled to do a piece on this because I found it disturbing.

            Lets say the title of my Article was.

            Keven Fanboy: Whats with all the Anti African American writing.

            And In the article I use a quote from a hater on your posts where they wrote.

            “We know Keven Fan Boy isn’t a Nazi but fuck, he’s obsessed with Discriminating”

            This certainly implies something regardless of how one says it doesn’t.

            I could also spin the article by saying just because you don’t write anything negative about African Americans, It’s obvious that you do not care enough about them to include them as part of your vocation.

            And I continue to state In the article about how you treat black people as inconsequential.

            But then I say stuff like”Don’t Get me wrong,I think Keven Fanboy is Great at what he does and I’m not saying he’s a racist. But I just have to comment on something that I see is obviously wrong.

            Now I’m not in your head any more then you are in Alan Moores. His rape scene in Watchmen was a powerful examination on Power and how it can have lingering affects even when it’s ceased to enslave the victim.

            As I said If Moore was a Female, You would most likely think the opposite and most likely Ms. Moore would be praised for showing rape in a negative light. Just as My Make Belief article would seem totally useless if you were African American(which maybe you are)

            And what you consider cheaply done might be considered brilliant by someone else. I could pick apart any Stanley Kubrick Film and call it almost anything Negative that you want to name. watch the recent film on the 10 fanatics who see hidden messages in his movie “The Shining” what you get is 10 totally different views that make you realize people should stop trying to read to much into anything.

            As (I would say) I have Proved.that I could do the same article about you and you would obviously feel it was irresponsible. I also find your article on Frank Miller as really Irresponsible. I don’t like the man myself for his anti Occupy bashing etc But calling him all those names when you probably have never met the guy is unwarranted Slander. Are you a mind reader?

            And if he is those things you accuse him of, Does your finger pointing make you any better.

            People thinking they know someone when they do not and making articles about it is Slandering and Irresponsible, And just because it was you who did it, doesn’t make it right.

            And that’s not Cool either.

            Remember it’s all of ours world and Diversity doesn’t mean we are all going to a big dance and have eternal fun. It actually means there are going to be a lot of differences of opinions and friction and how tolerant we are to those differences will determine how we react to each other.

          • reverendswann

            While I appreciate you having a conversation with me, what you just said is hogwash.

            All of this psychoanalyzing you’re saying I’m doing is simply a strawman. It isn’t in the content of my piece, not even a little. It’s not even implied.You can say I’m implying it all day long but that doesn’t make it true. Here’s what I said, again: I said that Alan Moore has used this trope too much and that it has consequences for the people who read his comics. You can disagree with that if you like, but to say that I was actually saying something else is a strawman.

            And, to end on some note of “hey, we all have differences of opinions” while saying that me expressing my opinion is “irresponsible” is just silly. Tolerance means we have to talk more, not less. I’m not saying Alan Moore should stop doing what he’s doing. I’m saying he should take a moment and converse with women in comics and listen to how they take what he’s doing. I’m asking for reflection, not attempting to silence one of my heroes, and I’m certainly not attempting to psychoanalyse him.

            I appreciate you talking to me, really. I’m glad I wrote something that provoked you. But it’s not much of a conversation if you just make a strawman out of what I’m saying. So please, go back and read what I wrote. You’ll see that I’m not “implying” anything. I’m saying what I mean explicitly. Just like I did in my Miller piece and in everything I write.

          • Midas68

            LOL, Like I said, just because you say it, in your mind it makes it true but it doesn’t necessarily make it true for the rest of us.
            (Thats what you’re implying about me=) But I understand thats how we are.

            You saying Moore needs to talk to a group if he’s going to write about them in situations is one step away from Intolerance.

            You have called the guy a Feminist writer yet say this???

            How do you know he hasn’t talked to people from rape support groups?

            And the hypothetical I mentioned between you and African Americans is Exactly what you wrote about Moore and Rape(Your words not mine)and if you didn’t take from that that there was some implying going on, then you should look up the word.

            Here let me do it again, You just now Implied that Moore needs sensitivity training and to talk to females about his writing so he can get his head back on right.

            If I wrote you need to see a English professor about your writing but then said I wasn’t critiquing your writing style. Now that would be Hog Wash.( I could go on for days with this)

            Kapeesh.

            In Todays World
            Opinions are not Like Assholes,
            They are from Assholes.

            And that goes for you (and I’m Human enough to say it) For me as well. But I always use a mirror to show the truth.(what I see of it) and the reflection is almost never met with acceptance.

            Anyway everyone with half a brain is half right. And I’m sure you are but that doesn’t mean that you should go unchecked in your dissections of Artists who’s intentions may not be as callous as you suggest.

            All that and a bowl of Chips

          • Ragnarok

            Dear god, Midas, are you high, or are you unable to comprehend how language functions? Actually, scratch that. Are you incapable of fundamental cognition? At this point in the discussion, you have now claimed that Kevin not saying something about African Americans in his writing is analogous to Moore overusing rape in his writing, and after having been politely informed of your (frankly laughable) error by your opponent in this particular debate you apparently decided (by concluding that not saying something is exactly the same thing as saying something) that errors actually constitute worthy aspirations in any intellectual pursuit and blissfully repeated your gaffe. Then you dropped the metaphorical mic in celebration of a victory only you seem to believe you achieved.

            Under normal circumstances, I resist the urge to nitpick people’s spelling and grammar in online fora since those skills are not necessarily part and parcel accompaniments to raw intelligence, but in this instance I think your poor performance in these areas is indicative of a larger problem. You, my man, are an idiot. Well, that, or you’ve only just cracked the threshold of your teen years and have not yet developed cognitively to the point where you could recognize just how much of an idiot you are (which, in the larger picture of human existence, is actually forgivable so long as you grow out of it). I truly hope the latter represents your situation because if you’re this stupid as a fully formed adult I fear there is very little hope for you in this life. Regardless, please invest in some high-quality head protection. You’re in grave danger of injuring yourself.

          • Ragnarok

            “But do not think that you could even dare say anything to my face that you can only back up on the internet.”

            Says the big talker on the internet. Could you possibly be more of a buffoon? And, junior, hurl as many pathetic taunts as that gelatinous mass of irretrievably corrupted gray matter occupying your cranium can conjure up. Your, frankly uninspired, use of schoolyard profanity and homophobic threats only furthers my case. I assume, however, that you will require yet another pause in the exchange to engage in a second round of fury masturbation so as to work up sufficient courage to continue. Have at it. Make it count.

          • Guest

            Wow. Conduct unbecoming the hallowed hall of the Contrarian Fanboy. It never amazes me how a person could use so much hateful sexual invective on a post about sexual abuse.

            What’s saddest is that I want, and frankly expect, passionate appreciate feedback about what I write. I mean, I’m talking about sexual violence, racism, sexism, and hate. I know that some posts are going to provoke people too. But I had hoped, that the feedback would at least deal with the content of my writing and that the conversation would be civil and generous. Sadly, this isn’t what has happened here.

          • Chris

            Man, this is not helping the stereotypes about only little kids read comic books. Midas pretty much singlehandedly reinforced stereotypes about men, rape culture, comic book readers, the Internet, public education, and anonymity in forums all in one thread. Clearly the ability to read and comprehend is not something that is deemed important to you little dude. Apparently only “weak minded fools” and “pansy asses” actually look to contribute intelligent coherent and correctly worded arguments these days.

          • Midas68

            If you have such difficulty seeing things as they are and not in rose colored glasses(which will always blind you to the real truth) Then don’t blame me. Yes I flamed once I was flamed on, But it doesn’t take away that all I have done is put up a mirror and shown a exact reflection to show the irresponsibility of the article(and therefore opinion) and if you fanboys cannot handle the truth. Then try to censor it as I find most people who respond like you usually do.

            Comics are for children. Some of the stuff Moore has done is for mature minds. And apparently some people have difficulty with that.

          • Ragnarok

            “…all I have done is put up a mirror and shown a (sic) exact reflection to show the irresponsibility of the article…”

            See, Midas, there you go again. You say you’ve just rehearsed back to us what was already present, but you really struggle with basic conceptualization. It’s okay, little buddy. You’re still a special snowflake.

            Over here in reality where the rest of us are, what you’re doing in this thread is known as projecting, and with each new comment you post I become more certain that keeping my identity largely unknown to you was the right decision. You believe you’re giving back exactly what you’re getting, but what you’re really doing is putting out a steady stream of confused, wingnutty, fever dream rants. You haven’t held up a mirror to anything in this blog post or in any subsequent comment on this thread. You’ve held up precisely the opposite and claimed you were doing something else. I tried to point this error out to you in my response when I said you had decided that not saying something is exactly the same as saying something. Of course, any pre-schooler could tell you how full of shit you are, but you’re just too damn dense to figure it out yourself.

            Oh, and I lol’d at the idea of my not being “invited” to receive your supposed ejaculations of brilliance. My sides were hurting by the time I was done laughing at the idea that anything you’ve written here rises even to the level of competence. The suggestion that you’re not posting comments here so that I might read them is just freaking hilarious. You’re so damn much fun I feel like Christmas and my birthday have both arrived early. I take it all back. I don’t want you to work on improving yourself. Do not change. Ever. Ever. Ever. The world needs cautionary tales just as much as it needs shining examples. Since you clearly have no hope to achieve the latter you may as well justify your existence by supplying the former.

          • Midas68

            Your a Flaming wit my boi, Got that fire turned up high in your bunghole and it’s tickling your fancy. I will make it short and sweet since you obviously have better things to do like beating off in the bushes to that picture of that gang banger and your mother. But I’m glad you are so taken with my responses. I might even teach you something beside the self serving scoop of poop that you gladly crunch and chomp on as if it’s the body of Christ and the last supper.

            Now go study your math home work, You already know addition is a bitch. Me, I’m going to go and let loose a Steamer and name it Ragnarok and swirl it around the toilet with a stick like it’s a sinking submarine sending out the S.O.S. code.

            That’s one of your twelve days for you G-Golly

          • Chris

            I’m with Ragnarok. I really feel like you are doing a public service by being everything that everyone hates about…everyone, all wrapped up in a nice neat little package. It’s laughable that you feel that you have made any good points here. I can almost see you typing with a downsy grin on your face as you type out these replies, self assured of your own brilliance and wit, when in reality your great prose and scathing retorts are just a child’s finger paintings on what otherwise could have been a brilliant discussion on rape culture, misogyny, and cultural norms. Instead we ended up with this embarrassment to dialogue, and you, a sad excuse for an orator that I can only hope will bookmark this discussion for future reference. It would be cute if it wasn’t so violently hateful, but seeing as that is all you seem to be capable of, it is just sad. I can only imagine the horror that you will experience in a few years after your brain actually finishes developing its logic and reason centers and your hormones calm down enough to render you capable of intelligent thought.

          • Midas68

            Typical Dipshit reply and obvious Moronic Ideologi9cal butt buddies to the Liberal Fascists who think any nay sayers to your social critique have views that haven’t been checked and double checked.

            You PC Thought Nazi’s suck real big Dicks(and swallow too)

            You want to condemn in the court of public opinion a obviously greater mind then you ever will(no I’m not speaking of myself =) but of Mr. Moore) You dissect and pretend to have a higher moral code then the person who actually has put thought into what he actually is saying.But you Fucktards interpret what you think his intentions are and you think this finger pointing some how makes you better people.

            You can pretend all you want. Just because you have a circle jerk doesn’t mean the idol you’re cumming on is going to prove to anyone with common sense that you have achieved anything besides child’s play.

            I have been there and done that. I was what you are. I have learned to see both sides of the coin and no longer think one is better then the other. Both are equally as wrong as they are right. But you won’t be able to hold onto your preconceived notions for long. Not if with age comes wisdom for you.

            Once again, Look in the mirror, thats all you need to know right there. If you look deep enough it will teach you everything about life. All the Contradictions and Hypocrisies of it. If you do not find the abyss, just keep playing Nintendo and wait for it.

          • Chris

            No seriously please, don’t stop. This is amazing.

            I think it is amazing that you are able to hold so strongly to a point that you only imagine is even being made. If nothing else, your dedication to your ideals is admirable. Ok, really it’s laughable, but if you had anything worthy of respect to say I’m sure I would admire you for sticking to it so firmly.

          • Midas68

            Revelation is like shit on a stick. It can be amazing to behold. But stink if you sniff it and taste like crap if you bite in.

            I would suggest to you just setting it on fire and running around in circles. Do it at night for full effect. Invite the neighbors.

          • Chris

            Your brilliant analogy, that you finely crafted in order to really lock in your defense against the onslaught of humanity questioning your intellect, is that a piece of shit…on a stick…is amazing to behold? That’s what you decided really drove home your superiority against all of us plebeians?

            Holy.
            Shit.(sic)

            There is no way this gets any better. YOU literally just compared your arguments to shit on a stick and do not understand why we may think you’re a mite deficient. /thread

          • Midas68

            I stopped reading after “Your Brilliant Analogy”(That should be in caps by the way) I get embarrassed by all the flattery

            I told ya just to listen and you will get there.

            Glad to see you on board instead of with those pretentious assholes.

          • Chris

            GUYS, now he is doing the “pretend that we actually agree with him” thing, like when we were kids! I take it all back. THREAD IS BACK OPEN

          • Ragnarok

            Did you see the reply up the thread in which he refers to himself in messianic terms? I really thought this would be just one or two exchanges with him spouting more and more stupidity, but we’ve hit the mother lode of batshit crazy!

            Oh, and apparently one miracle of heaven will be flying harpsichords, you guys! Flying goddamn harpsichords! Top that!

          • Ragnarok

            Oh, my god. Just when I don’t think this can get any better, the hits just…keep…on…coming! I mean, when I got to “Liberal Fascists” and “PC Thought Nazi’s (sic)” I figured we were in for your run-of-the-mill parroted Beck/Limbaugh rant, but when you implied that with age you have gained wisdom? Holyshit! I blacked out laughing. Comics labor over their whole careers to be able to produce a gem of unanticipated comedy gold on that level. Seriously, Midas, can you maybe record this endless stream of mental effluent and post it online? An entire world awaits the comedy stylings only you can offer.

          • Midas68

            No need, the hallowed halls of heaven will have the letters ablaze for the chosen people to look at in all its miraculous glory as the next set of 10 commandments for the enlightened of eternity.

            You will play harpsichord so gently while flying around listening to my gospels of ever lasting love.

            Mentioning Limbaugh is Low, and you will need to say a Hundred Hail Me’s to repent.

            And it was more like the Golden Age of Wisdom that I was implying(don’t forget those are facts)

            Ill be waiting with my mood ring for you to kiss as I ponder the further future of intelligent thought and which Direction i will lead the faithful.

            All Hail Me!

          • Ragnarok

            Now, I realize that we’re talking about heaven and miracles and so forth, but can you maybe paint me a little word picture of how I might go about playing harpsichord while flying? Don’t even worry about trying to describe how it might be done gently. The achievement of self-sustained flight as I play a goddamn harpsichord is miracle enough for me.

          • reverendswann

            Wow. Conduct unbecoming the hallowed hall of the Contrarian Fanboy. It never amazes me how a person could use so much hateful sexual invective on a post about sexual abuse.

            What’s saddest is that I want, and frankly expect, passionate appreciate feedback about what I write. I mean, I’m talking about sexual violence, racism, sexism, and hate. I know that some posts are going to provoke people too. But I had hoped, that the feedback would at least deal with the content of my writing and that the conversation would be civil and generous. Sadly, this isn’t what has happened here.

            Ragnarok, thanks for the defense. Let’s all just walk away now.

          • Ragnarok

            What gave it away, Midas? Was it the completely dissimilar writing styles? Oh, wait, People suffering from dissociative identity disorder (that’s the actual name of the disorder you mention, btw) often exhibit different handwriting between separate identities so I guess you’ve got me there, too.

            On a totally unrelated note, have you ever heard of Occam’s Razor? No? Color me shocked. I’ll explain the concept for you, never you fear. It’s a guideline used most often in science and logic which, phrased simply, says that one should avoid unnecessarily complicated explanations when an equally acceptable, less complicated explanation addresses any particular problem. Let me give you a quick example. (You may wish to put down your bong and pause the internet porn so you can pay close attention here.)

            My appearance here could be explained by at least two possible scenarios. First, I could be (as you claim) the author masquerading as a random commentator who happened upon this blog and decided to comment on your obvious thickness of mind. That’s certainly plausible. It has happened in the past on numerous other online fora (Scott Adams comes to mind). Or, as our second possible explanation, I could have come upon this thread, been amazed by how stupid you are, registered with Disqus (incidentally, since you have trouble spelling in general I’ll just let you in on the little-known secret that you are allowed to scroll in whatever direction applies and double-check your spelling in cases such as this one) as opposed to commenting by signing in via FB since you are pretty clearly the sort of dude who would be inclined to use information of that nature to exact some sort of vengeance for me pointing out how addled you are, and proceeded to brain slam you for your aforementioned stupidity.

            Now, I realize that our second explanation requires more words to describe, but we’re not concerned with the verbosity of the explanation here. Rather, we’re focusing on conceptual simplicity. So, either I am the author of this blog (something quickly determined by comparing IP addresses so feel free to contact the owners of this site in order to alert them of the need to get right on investigating this scandal) and am hiding behind a pseudonym because I can’t possibly stand toe-to-toe with you intellectually, or I am an actual reader who decided to call you out for being a muddle-headed ignoramus but chose to protect my identity due to your potential mental imbalances. My guess is that you’ll choose the former, but allow me to assure you and anyone else who may be lurking that the latter is the case.

            I realize that this development poses a tremendous threat to your self-identity as the cleverest of the clever (I mean, I have now just utterly destroyed what can only be the second example of what you consider an airtight logical conclusion), but you can certainly seek professional help to reconcile your self-regard with reality. It does concern me that the gaps between your replies seems to be lengthening as we go, however. If your fury masturbation sessions are taking this long to help you conceive these feats of imbecility I would recommend you seek out the appropriate lube to ward off the inevitable chaffing you almost certainly are now having to endure. See if you can find some while you’re out shopping for that head-gear I mentioned in my previous reply. I’m sure there’s a Super Target or Walmart Supercenter within easy proximity to you, and I would be rather surprised if one of those stores doesn’t provide both for purchase. It’s important to consolidate your trips. For the environment. (That’s what let’s you breathe, just so you know.)