VENOM Director Says Spinoff Will Be “Darker” (No F-ing Duh!!!)

Hey there, ladies and gentlenerds! What’s happining!? Don’t care!! So, Alex Kurtzman, co-writer of the dreadful The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and one of the overseers of the emerging “Spider-Man Cinematic Universe” is the man tasked with bringing our favorite symbiote to the big screen…Venom!

I’m not here to trash talk his s**t-tacular work on The Amazing Spider-Man 2. No…no I’m not! I wanna talk trash about his future work on VENOM! who happens to be my favorite Hero/Villain in all of comics (He’s at least in the top five on both sides)

In an interview with MTV News, Kurtzman said this:

Wait. A. Minute!…Venom…is a “dark” character?!…You gotta be sh***ting me!?!? Get out of town! Are you serious!? For f**k’s sakes, man! Who the hell doesn’t know that Venom isn’t like Spider-Man?!? To be honest, it’s not the statement that wrinkles my briefs. It’s… It’s probably the guy making it. Venom needs to be dark. It’s who he is. Even when he turned into a hero and Marvel gave him his own series, the way he felt like dealing with evil was by “EATING BAD GUYS BRAINS!!” Not joking! Go back to Venom’s 90s comics. Trust me. It’s what he threatened bad guys with.

Allow me a moment to put, just a couple of things in to perspective, if I may. Kurtzman co-wrote AMS2, and in my opinion, it was a complete train wreck. It was all over the place. This is the same guy who’s going to bring Venom back to the big screen after the unfortunate debacles that was “Spider-Man 3”

And Sony appears to be ready to make the same mistake TWICE! The problem with Sam Raimi’s Venom was that it was rushed! There was almost absolutely no character development for either the Eddie Brock character, nor the Symbiote!

As for this time around, now Sony has two Venoms to choose from: Eddie Brock, who hasn’t even been featured yet in either Amazing 1 or 2, and Flash Thompson (the current Venom) who ALSO hasn’t received any proper screen time in either film to warrant the audience to give a rat’s stink-ass about him! Unless, of course, they try and cram some half-ass origin story into his first movie. Picking up, perhaps, after graduating high school, Flash Thompson enlists in the army, suffers a tragedy and loses both his legs. The government recruits him for experimental program backed by Oscorp (enter Symbiote), and as thrilling as that may sound, (not half bad for a half-wit such as myself, if I may say) that scenario isn’t Venom’s true origin! I would not be surprised if Sony sacrifices everything that makes the character who and what he is just to rush him into production to catch up with Marvel/Disney and DC/WB. It would be a shame that true Venom fans would get completley shut out just so that Sony can hurry to have a series of interconnected films under thier belt.

However turned off by the director and studio I may be, I am, in fact, glad that Venom is getting his own film franchise. With as many “children” that he has in the comics, there’s no telling how many stories that can be told. Carnage is the big one, though. I contend that Carnage may not be a suitable villain for Spider-Man in the movies. It just wouldn’t fit the current world they are constructing for the Web-Head, so let Carnage torment Venom in his own series.

Hopefully everything works out for the best. I may not have much faith in Sony or Kurtzman after AMS2, but I have my fingers crossed. However, I say this: I swear if they f**k  Venom up, I’m Done with Sony and Spider-Man! DONE!!!

Well, I hope I made some kind of sense for you fine folks out there (although I doubt I did). It’s been fun! If you got something to say about this article…keep it to your damn self! You can catch me over on Twitter @GonzoNeo, or my blog insidethemultiverse.wordpress.com (as if you care!)

So, until next time folks…peace out!