4 Horror Movies That Will Gut You Alive In 2014

Oculus is creeping it’s way to the theaters on April 11th and I thought it good to look over my shoulders and see what 2014 has lurking for us.

13 Sins

Elliot played by Mark Webber (The unhappy guitarist in Scott Pilgrim Vs The World) is in debt and soon to be married, but with a mysterious phone call he’s given a chance to gain leverage over his financial burdens. Like most good things, there’s a catch: Elliot must commit 13 heinous acts in order to win millions of dollars. Directed by Daniel Stamm (The Last Exorcism) 13 Sins is set to release on April 18th.

13 Sins is unfortunately a remake of the Thai film, 13 Beloved, and fortunately produced by the guys who brought us Sinister and Insidious. Screams filled the theaters with their movies so I have faith in this remake. In the original it begins with a lot of humorous and cringeworthy acts like making a baby cry and quickly escalates to vandalism and murder. Hopefully in this version we will get new and original acts that will keep us on the edge of our seats.

Stage Fright

Camilia (Allie McDonald) is an aspiring actor who dreams of removing herself from the audience and taking on lead roles in broadway musicals. While working in the kitchen of a musical camp she tries out for a play and lands the same lead role her mother (Minnie Driver) was to perform in before murdered in her dressing room. Sadly for Camilia the play may not happen because everyone around her is dropping dead and, as fait will have it, her mother’s death has something to do with it. Directed by newcomer Jerome Sable, Stage Fright stars rocker Meat Loaf and will cut moviegoers’ throats May 9th.

If Meat Loaf isn’t enough incentive, you should make note of the film’s director Jerome Sable and his musical accomplice Eli Batalion. This duo spawned a little ditty called The Legend of Beaver Dam which won “Best Short Film” at Screamfest LA 2010 and it is bloody fantastic. In TLBD a nerdy outcast must become the hero and fight off urban legend, Stumpy Sam, but not with out breaking out into song! The blend of gore and rocking out is sure to put a grin on your face.

Cooties

This horror comedy centers around a zombie epidemic unleashed after a chicken nugget infects an elementrary  school’s students with, I guess, cooties. Substitute teacher, Clint Hadson (Elijah Wood) will lead the way for a group of teachers from the pubescent plague. Cooties  was directed by duo Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion, also stars Alison Pill, Rain Wilson and will be biting moviegoers’ ankles October 10th.

With zombified students, cafeteria food and puberty on the menu this is sure to be a horrific blast that will scare you straight to the nurses office. Plus, anytime Elijah Wood is on board for a horror movie you’re going to have a good time. I guarantee it. He’s been on the opposite end of the high school life in The Faculty and he has proven to be an expert at being super-creepy with his roles in Sin City and Maniac.

Tusk

In Haley Joel Osment’s first horror flick since The Sixth Sense, Teddy Craft must uncover his missing podcast co-host Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) in the backwoods of Canada before he is transformed into a walrus by a mad scientist(Michael Parks). It’s like The Human Centipede, but with a walrus and no one has to eat feces, which I’m really happy about. Tusk  was written and directed by Kevin Smith and due out November 10th.

The twisted plot was developed around an ad Kevin Smith read on his site, SModcast.com. It offered free housing as long as the roommate pretended to be a walrus (making walrus noises and eating walrus food) whilst wearing a walrus outfit for two hours every day. The ad was something straight out of a horror flick and Kevin and his co-host Scott Mosier couldn’t help themselves from discussing how this potential horror story would pan out. The ad turned out to be a hoax, but that didn’t stop Kevin and Scott from asking listeners to retweet either #WalrusYes to move forward with the movie or #WalrusNo to not. Obviously, most people wanted it to happen and Kevin was more than happy to oblige.