It’s no secret that Natalie “Yes, I Was In Those God Awful Prequels” Portman isn’t a fan of her newest role as Thor’s damsel in distress. As a matter of fact, she wouldn’t have returned for this sequel if she wasn’t contractually obligated. So, why would Kevin Feige and the kind leaders of the MCU keep her under lock and key? For any number of reasons, it would make more sense to kill off her character and replace her with a love interest befitting the God of Thunder.
Not to go off on a tangent, because I really didn’t want to bring this up (OK, I kinda REALLY do), but how could a mere mortal withstand the Tunder-licious sex strokes of the Odinson? Every time Jane jumps in the sack she’s betting against an instant, awkward death… and a startling shock of lightning in her no-no parts. No amount of Kegels could prepare you for a heroic boning of that caliber. After all, Thor stood toe-to-toe with The Incredible Hulk.
But back to the main point… As much as I enjoyed Kenneth Branagh’s charming little romantic comedy in the first THOR, I don’t think Foster has much of a purpose. Combine that sentiment with the recently leaked film synopsis (SPOILER: Which claims Jane is throw into a semi-comatose state and ol’ Goldilocks must find a way to save her) and Portman will soon enough transform into the “Sam Witwicky” of the Marvel Universe. You know… because they don’t do much besides tripping up our onscreen heroes.
Between the contract scuffle, her character’s innate lameness, and Thor’s really hot buddy Sif ripe for the reaping (you could cut that sexual tension with a knife… or Asgardian dagger… or any number of phallic objects laying around the house), I think we may see her demise in THE DARK WORLD.
What say you?
Portman herself seems a bit worried about the matter…