How Jewy Is He?- SUPERMAN


superman movie 1978

Welcome gentlemen and ladies, mutants and flatscans alike, to an extra special edition of With Great Chutzpah Comes Great Responsibility.  I have recently invented the latest in ignorant stereotyping technology- the Jewometer!  The Jewometer is used to gauge just how Jewy famous characters are.   Of course, if a gentile ever attempted to use my invention I would have to destroy him or her, but I am a proud Yid who will happily make biased assessments of Umajor comic book characters.  Today’s issue looks at the Man of Steel himself.  Is Superman a circumcised, Torah reading, Moses leading, matza ball eating, super mensch? or is he your favorite bacon cooking, animal hunting, Easter egg painting, goy gladiator? 

Who is Superman:  He is the perfect hero- strong and powerful, with incredibly high morals.  Plus, the dude is a heartthrob; he makes all the shiksas go gaga.  He is 6’4”, with blue eyes and that oh-so-gorgeous hair.  Superman is the standard of masculinity in America.

How it works: The Jewometer rates characters based on a point system which will be added up to rate if the do-gooder is Kosher or not.  Could this assimilated country bumpkin be my Jewish brother?  Is Kal-El a distant relative to Yaakov Ben Shmuel (that’s me)?  Is he a typical, everyday, assimilated Yid or a nice, Midwestern boy?  Just how Jewy is he really?

Here…We… Go……….

superman jewameter

Superman was created by two nice Jewish boys, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster.  + 2 bagels points.

He is an immigrant who sought refuge in America when his homeland was destroyed.  + 1 bottle of Manischewitz.

Krypton is a crappy analogy for Eastern Europe Jewish communities.  Many Jews love to point out the similarities between Krypton and the shtetl, but the truth is there are very few.  Krypton was a freakin’ technologically advanced futuristic society filled with scientists and a crapload of crystals.  That is nothing like where my family came from.  + 4 pork roasts. 

Superman’s name is circumcised… twice.  Larry Tye, author of Superman: The High-Flying History of America’s Most Enduring Hero, points out that “When a name ends in “man,” the bearer is Jewish, a superhero, or both.” (Except George Zimmerman, he is definitely not a Jew or a hero.)  Superman’s Kryptonian name is also Jewish because in Hebrew Kal-El roughly means “Vessel Of G-D,” or “All That G-D Is.”  + 2 shekels.super jew

Superman’s origin story is clearly inspired by the Torah.  His birth and early years echo the Moses narrative, and Jerry Siegel admits that Supes was inspired by Samson.  + All 3 Beastie Boys.

While Supes may resemble Moses, the M-man eventually fully embraced himself as a Jew.  Supes never did teshuvah and returned to his roots.  He has no clue what the heck a mezuzah is or the words to the Shema.  Whether he was born a Yid or not, he ain’t no Moses.  I also hate to break it to my Christian readers, but the Jesus comparison doesn’t fly either.  Superman’s poppa Jor-El sure as heck is not G-D.  – an entire minyan.

He loves Shiksas!  Shuster and Siegel have admitted that Lois Lane was representative of the girl they couldn’t get in high school.  That sounds pretty Jewish to me. + 2 Marx Brothers.

superman kingdom comeClark Kent acts like a shy, nervous nebbish.  + 1 plate of white fish.

Superman is not Clark Kent; Clark Kent is Superman’s mask.  So while Supes was this perfect alien dude, he had to put on a front for everyone so they would not realize how special he was.  He chose to act like a quasi-Jewish stereotype.  While Clark may seem to act “Jewish,” it is just a facade.  He is like a very bad version of Woody Allen in a gentile body.  + 2 bacon strips for being a phony.

Clark Kent says things such as “gosh darn it, it’s been swell.”  Seriously, this cat doesn’t even know how to complain.  Superman will never understand the awesomeness of kvetching.   + the freakin’ Easter Bunny.

Superman is constantly feeling lost, left out, alien and afraid to show the world the real him.   We have all felt that way, and it is representative of the clash many Jews feel between the Old and New World cultures. + a plate of delicious smoked salmon.

Supes is similar to a golem.  After Jerry Siegel’s poppa died during a robbery, Siegel created Superman to fight for people like his father and the Jews dying overseas.  For folks that don’t know, a golem is a clay creature created to protect the Jews.  Superman is clearly a golem, but while the golem was made by a Rabbi, a golem is not a freakin’ Jew.  That means Supes is as Yiddish as a piece of clay.  + the entire cast from Duck Dynasty.

Clark Kent loves kugel.  For real, for real, when Clark is invited over to his co-worker Josef’s house for Shabbat dinner in Action Comics #835, Supes cannot get enough of the kugel!  + 1 Latke.

Superman is perfect.  There is nothing Jewy about perfection.  He is a “super” man, while Jews are normal people trying to be super.  We are everyday schmucks trying to be the best people we can be.  We heal the world through mitzvahs and following commandments.  We are often neurotic messes because we hold such high expectations of ourselves, while Supes is the greatest man on earth.  – Ben Grimm, Batwoman and Kitty Pryde.

superman

So how Jewy is he?

As Jewy as gefilte fish with bacon on top.  He was clearly inspired by his Jewish creators’ cultures and values, but at best he is an assimilationist icon.  He is a kugel eating, golem seeming, corny speaking, shiksa loving, Jewish prophet imitating, alien country boy. 

The verdict: Even if Superman has a tasty Jewish center, it is under the crunchy gentile outside.   Mmmmmmmm, nougat.  

Resources:

From Krakow to Krypton: Jews and Comic Books by Arie Kaplan 

Up, Up, and Oy Vey: How Jewish History, Culture, and Values Shaped The Comic Book Superhero by Simcha Weinstein

The Jewish Daily Forward

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Jay Deitcher, LMSW(@mrdeitcher) is an educator on comic history and runs successful Free Comic Book Day events yearly.  You can see a listing of his incredible articles at JayDeitcher.com.