Top 5 Shame Boner Inducing Video Game Vixens


Close your door, dim the lights, and set your web browser to ‘incognito’, because we’re about to dive into the vast world of perverted fandom.

Have you ever played a really great video game with a deep and compelling plot, but for some reason, you always find yourself avoiding the main storyline in order to visit the hot NPC next door? Yea… I figure you did. Don’t be ashamed, everyone does it.

But have you ever creeped around an in game vixen that you knew shouldn’t be hot. You know… the kind of lady characters that should only rouse the most depraved of love sick Japanese business men (too racist?).

Well, in honor of those bizarre digital hotties, allow me to present the Top 5 Shame Boner Inducing Video Game Vixens…

Candy Kong

Besides the fact that this lovely lady is covered in a matted coat of simian fur, what’s not to love? She shares all of the quality traits that are important in a feminine Kong: Cranky’s charisma, Funky’s looks, Diddy’s humor, and Donkey Kong’s banana hoard (no innuendos here, I promise!)

Birdo

Do I really have to explain myself? Do I REALLY? Fine!

Well, Birdo is one of those strange characters that perfectly marries together two rare, though entertaining, fetishes: a love for teeny tiny little folks and pink cavernous orafaces. Yes, I know, I’m a disgusting human being.

I’ll go ahead and let myself out.

Resident Evil Zombies

Sure, they’re mindless flesh eating beasties, but that doesn’t mean they’ve lost all of their sex appeal. Between their hunger fueled wandering and the sparse availability of quality human meat, the female undead have developed quite the beach bodies… if you can look passed the whole decaying flesh thing.

Midna

What’s not to like? Midna’s an extra-dimensional princess, which means she’s rolling in the benjamins, and besides the whole “I look like a furrier version of a gremlin” vibe she’s putting off, she’s a looker when she finally transforms back into her human-esque form.

Kazooie

It must be her wise cracking, trouble causing allure that keep us coming back for more. That… or we’re all just a bunch of huge freaks. Seriously, this is a damn animated bird people!!! You SHOULD absolutely be ashamed of the boners she causes (I know our UK Editor Ciaran is… but that doesn’t stop his computer chair from rhythmically creaking in the middle of the night).

 

Alrighty, that’s our list. If you think we’re spot on, well thank you! And if you know an even better choice, then sound off in the comments below!

As always, we’ll be here to serve your disgusting fanboy needs, so hurry on back now, ya’ hear!