It’s not all bright flying capes and good deeds in the world of superheroes. When they’re not scouring the city, smashing their fisticuffs into the faces of evil doers (as George W. would say), some of our favorite crime fighters are damn miscreants in their own right. In honor of that, today, we’ll take a look at some of our favorite drunk icons in all of their rum guzzling, bourbon slurping, bubble burping glory.
When he’s not shoving his pig stickers into a would-be mutant terrorist, Logan enjoys a chilled brewski in a clean, tall glass. I’m actually not too sure he can achieve master levels of drunkenness, considering his invincible healing factor, but at least he tries.
I can only recall one instance of Superman’s drunken escapades, but they were bizarre enough to warrant a placement on this list. Sporting a Kutcher-esque beard, downing shot after shot of Johnny Walker Scotch (who woulda thunk that Supes wasn’t a fan of single malt?), the Kryptonian is a sad whiskey soaked sack.
007 might seem like a peculiar choice for this list. He’s never filthy drunk in his films, but he still consumes his fair share of alcohol, maintaining a nice, steady buzz. As any freshman in college will tell you, you’ve gotta pace yourself or else you’ll puke all over your shirt… not that it’s ever happened to me or anything. Honest.
Was there really any other choice? Tony Stark is the grand fucking master of drinking. Honing his skills through years of depression, and aided by a pesky addiction, Iron Man is the ‘Numero Uno’ of geekdom’s drunkards. It’s only a matter of time before Captain America installs a breathalyzer on his armor suits, but in the mean time, party on Tony!