Mutant Discovered Drinking AJAX; HIS POWERS SUCK

A real mutant has been discovered on YouTube, and his powers TOTALLY SUCK!

It has been proven that mutants really exist. Einstein was a mutant. An autopsy on Einstein’s brain shows he had a crapload more neuronal connections and synaptic connections than everyone else. Translated, that means he was a super-genius who was a bigger mutant freak than Professor X.

My niece is also a mutant, but her power is one of the coolest ever in the history of the universe. She is a freak who can make her eyeballs wiggle back and forth at an incredibly fast pace! It is a completely worthless skill, but is super-duper cool to look at. You gotta see it!

Comics have had their share of characters with lame @$$ powers also. Jubilee and Dazzler fight villains by putting on glorified light shows. Cypher was a New Mutant whose power was to translate other languages- holly crap, what an annoying know-it-all. Then there is Maggot, a mutant whose power was to control… maggots.

But this real life superhero is even lamer. He is a nice Jewish boy with the power to drink and digest shampoo, mouthwash, toothpaste and even Ajax! All of these are Kosher, of course. It is not just lame, it is also super gross. And he is very very proud of himself. OYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.  Check it out:

[springboard type=”video” id=”730781″ player=”ulfb001″ width=”480″ height=”400″ ]

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Jay Deitcher, LMSW(@mrdeitcher) embraces the term MUTANT and proudly represents his MUTANT brothers and sisters.  He is an educator on comic history and runs successful Free Comic Book Day events yearly.  You can see a listing of his incredible articles and his highly energetic videos at JayDeitcher.com.