The STAR WARS EPISODE 7 Villain Nobody Wants Is The One We’ll Get

In our never ending speculation, we’ve delved deep and greedily into Star Wars lore, searching for the perfect Star Wars Episode 7 villain. While J. J. Abrams has granted us tiny clues and brief glimpses, we’re still not 100% sure who the New Trilogy’s baddie will be. I’d love Admiral Thrawn or the Yuhzon Vong to wage cinematic war against the New Republic, but that seems unlikely. Especially since much of the Star Wars mythology has been wiped from canon.

According to this new scoop, a classic Expanded Universe villain will return, and I’m totally bummed out.

Emperor Palpatine, the single most menacing Sith this side of Moraband, is in the New Trilogy. That’s right, the over-used, washed up, totally-should-have-died villain from the first 6 movies is back. In full transparency, this rumor isn’t exactly new. We’ve long heard that the venerable Senator from Naboo would return to the franchise. Although, to what extent, we’ve no idea.

I’d hate to see our new heroes, conflicted Stormtroopers and former Jedi, brawl against familiar villains. Been there, done that. Bashing on the Prequels is an all too trite affair, but those 3 movies provided us more than enough time with Uncle Palpy. No need for any more.

The new, mysterious, cyborg villain of Episode 7
The new, mysterious, cyborg villain of Episode 7

Give me a new villain. Someone mean. Someone lean. Artwork of a ferocious cyborg nemesis leaked onto the interwebs a few weeks ago and for the first time in a long, long time, I was excited. That villain represents a new start for the Star Wars mythos. The young heroes will wage war against a (hopefully) compelling, unique threat. If Palpatine were included, he should only serve as a relic. A holycron, perhaps. In a world bereft of any Dark Side masters, his teachings might be all that remain.

Episode 7’s antagonists are reportedly wannabe Siths who are hellbent on resurrecting an ancient Dark Jedi. Hopefully Palpatine’s not that guy. I don’t possess a broad enough library of onamonapia to emphasize my contempt for the notion, but perhaps BLEGH, GRRR, ARGH, and BARF will suffice. Even worse, some sites suggest that the cyborg villain I’ve referenced will, in fact, be a mechanically enhanced Emperor. To quote my buddy, Ben Kenobi, “Millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror.”

I absolutely adore J. J. Abramas as a film maker. Say what you will about his Star Trek flicks, but they’re some of the best Science Fiction movies of the past decade. March bravely into new and exciting worlds, Abrams. No need to rehash a dried up, safe-bet villain.

emperor palpatine star wars episode 7

Author
Heyo. I'm Nick Dourian, the Editor-In-Chief around these parts. Now, I went to a few other sites, read a few awesome bios, and I really want to fabricate a badass origins story for myself, but I'm feeling particularly unimaginative today, so 'f' that jazz. I read comics, drink bourbon, and cook meats. Imagine Ron Swanson, but with a fuller beard and cuter eyes.
  • burnzy

    The Star Trek movies were horror shows, especially the second one. It was like a couple of eight year old kids came up with a plot. They were NOT science fiction. I have absolutely rock bottom expectations for episode 7. Hopefully, it’s at least decent then I’ll probably be happy.

  • Guest

    Seriously? Screw new and disposable villains. Palpatine was the one big threat always, and post-empire stories were lame precisely because of that. The fading remnants of the empire aren’t as big a threat. Only in “Revenge of the Sith” they realized how necessary Palpatine was, and they gave him more screen time. It’s perfectly fine with me for him to return as a force-ghost as it was rumored. What was ridiculous and detestable, because it wiped it’s behind on “Return of the Jedi” and everybody’s sacrifice, was all the Palpatine-clones crap from the expanded universe.

  • AEmilius Resurrection

    Seriously? Screw new and disposable villains. Palpatine was the one big threat always, and post-empire stories were lame precisely because of that. The fading remnants of the empire aren’t as big a threat. Only in “Revenge of the Sith” they realized how necessary Palpatine was, and they gave him more screen time. It’s perfectly fine with me for him to return as a force-ghost as it was rumored, helping an manipulating a new lesser villain. What was ridiculous and detestable, because it wiped it’s behind on “Return of the Jedi” and everybody’s sacrifice, was all the Palpatine-clones crap from the expanded universe.

  • VirgilHawkins

    Instead of Sidious, it’d be cool if the Sith Lord “resurrected” was Sidious’s master, the one mentioned in Episode 3, that could control the flow of life itself.

  • Kellix

    I’m sorry, if JJ Abrams, is trying to freaking hose the whole last 40 books, hes doing a good job if he brings back Palpatine. George Lucas when he announced 7-8-9 would be the best books after number 6. Which there are some bad ass stories. Thrawn, Xizor.

  • Kondorr

    I would like Palpatine to return in some form… why not? He is the ultimate evil… he trumps even Plagueis… Yoda, Jinn and Kenobi achieved spiritual immortality… it would only be fitting for Palpi to achieve physical immortality… or maybe he force-ghosts into another body like in Dark Empire.