EXPENDABLES 3 Ups the Crazy With Nicolas Cage

By Nick Dourian on Monday, November 5th, 2012

Not the Bees!!!! Oh no!!! NOT THE BEES!!!

If you loved that bit of Cage led insanity, then you’ll love this news. Sylvester Stallone has confirmed that the great whisper-SHOUTER of Hollywood will star in THE EXPENDABLES 3 alongside the rest of Tinseltown’s geriatric thespians in all of their adult diaper wearing glory.

Here’s Rocky’s official release, which desperately needs at least one “HEY ADRIAN!”:

We are preparing the film with the same passion and commitment as the previous two. We have confirmed Nicolas Cage, a master actor who gives a veneer intellectual group. Hopefully we can realize to Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes and Mickey Rourke. That is the great mission of the producer. We will continue with the same narrative scheme, the agility and the frenzy, which are inherent to the saga. What will definitely be the last? I can not guarantee. In principle it would be two deliveries, but the affection of the people encouraged us to work on a third. I guess as long as we amused ourselves by offering fun and people, we can continue playing ‘The Expendables’. For now we are not as expendable as it should and as some critics want.

Now, this means two things.

1) As with all the other actors in The Expendables series, Nicolas Cage must realize that his career is at its lowest point. Why else would 12 of the biggest action stars from yesteryear share the limelight with their former competitors?

2) Nicolas Cage will be Bat Shit crazy. You thought Wicker Man was insane? How about the creeptastic Vampire’s Kiss? Those films won’t hold a candle to Cage’s final form of poke-esque evolution, which is destined to bring the whole world to its knees.

I imagine something akin to Cage the White‘s second coming, only a bit more fantastic.