Marvel has already announced May 1, 2015 as the official release date for the sequel to The Avengers which was easily one of the top-six all-time best Marvel Studios films. It was definitely the best live-action film to feature Hawkeye. Given how amazing and successful the first film was, it’s now time to look forward, to examine just which characters should join Hawkeye in the sequel. What follows is my official wish-list for The Avengers 2:
With 20th Century Fox about to lose the rights to The Man Without Fear, Marvel is free to use this character in whatever way they “see” fit (get it? he’s blind), and what better way to introduce this character than by presenting him on the biggest cinematic stage in the world? I realize that Daredevil isn’t usually associated with the Avengers – I’m not stupid – but he did once share a comic book with Black Widow, so it makes sense to put him in the movie somewhere (maybe he could be their lawyer or something). I’d further like to suggest that they get Ryan Reynolds to play him; he’s charismatic and charming, and he’s already been in at least ten other comic book adaptations, so he knows the terrain. Also, he was once married to Scarlett Johansson, so there’s bound to be some tension there.
When Disney bought Marvel in 2009 for a trillion dollars, everyone wondered how much overlap there would be between the Disney and Marvel characters. (I, for one, was hoping to see what would happen when Howard the Duck met Donald Duck on the big screen, in a $250 million summer tentpole.) But what better way to exploit corporate synergy – and get the children excited – than by putting one of the most beloved rodents in history into one of the most beloved superhero teams in history? Maybe, if Ant Man is in the movie, they could have him shrink down to ant size and meet Mickey in a mouse hole inside Thanos’s spaceship or something? How’d he get there? I don’t know – I’m not Joss Whedon. (I would suggest that they get Ryan Reynolds to do his voice.)
The Country Songbird
The Country Songbird (Taylor Swift) is a really cute country singer who dates men and then breaks up with them, and then writes songs about it, humiliating them. Just before the Avengers have to go in and fight Thanos (spoiler alert: I think Thanos is going to be the next Avengers villain), they could send in Country Songbird to make him fall in love with her. Then, she’ll break up with him. As he’s nursing his broken heart, he’ll hear the song she wrote about him on the radio, and then he’ll feel even worse, and that’s when the Avengers can attack! Sample lyrics:
Just ‘coz you’ve got cosmic power
You can crush my heart like a li’l flower
Then strike a real dramatic pose
But this is
One relationship you’re gonna regret
So take your old Infinity Gauntlet
And get away from me Thanos!”
This could also be a great tie-in with the ever-lucrative country market– and if they could get Ryan Reynolds to play her, so much the better.
Face-Kini and Lady Face-Kini
Given the growing importance of the international market, Marvel would be wise to include international characters, such as the Face-Kinis, from China. This married couple patrols the beaches of China, making sure there’s no invasion from the sea. Perhaps their greatest power is their cloning ability – beaches in China are apparently over-run with protective Face-Kinis right now. Look out Sub-Mariner! (Note: If they’re planning on putting Sub-Mariner in the next Avengers film, I’d suggest getting Ryan Reynolds to play him.)
Nicolas Cage is an actor who often seems normal. But then suddenly, and seemingly for no reason, he will just totally lose his sh*t; and when that happens, villains need to look out! He’s made a fortune appearing in anywhere from seven to thirty-eight films a year, but his real passion is riding his motorcycle and solving history-based crimes on hijacked airplanes. In the upcoming sequel, when Thanos steals an unused copy of the US Constitution and hijacks the SHIELD Helicarrier, and all the other Avengers are off listening to Country Songbird’s concert, only Nicolas Cage will be there to save that woman from “How I Met Your Mother.” I think that if they do go with The Over-Reactor, they should get Ryan Reynolds to play him – he’s definitely got the intensity and humor that the character requires.
Occasionally, the Avengers encounter critics who don’t like their films. I know, I can’t believe it, either. When that happens, the RottenTomatoBot takes to the message boards and comments sections of websites and blogs, to use threats and insults to attack the critics in question. (I realize his powers aren’t really “cinematic,” but he is relatable to most of the fans of superhero movies.) If he bulked up, I think that Ryan Reynolds would be an excellent choice to play him.
When she was given an accidental overdose of Insti-Preg radiation, the Octomom gained the ability to become very, very pregnant simply by thinking about it. She shoots her babies at villains, automatically triggering their natural parenting instincts. They are then forced to abandon their evil schemes to raise the babies properly. I think that this would be a great role for Ryan Reynolds.
This one might be a little far-fetched, given the byzantine nature of intellectual property laws, but DC hasn’t done a live-action movie with this character since Batman & Robin, so as far as I’m concerned, they have forfeited the rights. And, no, Robin John Blake or whatever his name was doesn’t count. What I’d really like is for Congress to pass a law saying that if a movie studio doesn’t make a movie about the characters that it owns within a year, then any other studio can use the character. Then, Marvel could swoop in (get it? he’s a bird) and use Robin. My guess is they’d probably make him a janitor at first, to sort of tease him and break him in, but by the end of the film he’d prove his worth by jumping around and kicking people. And if they’re looking for an actor to play him, I’d suggest Ryan Reynolds.
So, what do you think? Is Ryan Reynolds your favorite actor? Do you think he should be cast in the next Avengers movie? Sound off in the comments!