We’re Going to be Subjected to More of THE HOBBIT Trilogy


The Hobbit has had a long road to production. Originally it was to be a two-part adaptation from the awesome-as-hell Guillermo del Toro, but after complications with the Tolkein estate and constant delays he left. More delays happened and eventually Peter Jackson (who needs no introduction) stepped in to guide the ship. Great news, right? Lord of the Rings changed everything in the same way Star Wars did back in the 70’s and is still absolutely loved to this day. The similarities between the trilogies don’t end there, though. Both directors departed for a number of years and then came back to make a prequel trilogy. Both original movies were pioneers in practical and special effects and had difficulties in the former. Both prequel trilogies featured a strong reliance on CGI. And both prequel trilogies sucked.

So, I had very high hopes for An Unexpected Journey. When it was kinda boring I wasn’t too worried, as there were still two movies left to rectify that. During The Desolation of Smaug I fell asleep for the entirety of the elf sequence – that’s never happened before – and I still have not watched the parts I missed. I only went to see The Battle of Five Armies because I was dragged by friends, and I wish I had been tired enough to fall asleep. It was so dull that I was constantly checking my watch so I could get the hell out of there, and I wanted to cry when I realised we were only forty-five minutes into the movie.

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Variety revealed that Warner Bros. and Fathom Events have teamed up to hold a long-ass three-day movie marathon of the trilogy – but it’s not just the trilogy. It’s the extended edition of each movie, with twenty minutes added to The Battle of Five Armies, making it R-rated. Why on earth that film is even longer and how on earth it can be rated R is a question I will likely never know the answer to (along with, ‘why was this made?’) however I’m fortunate in that nobody is forcing me to go to this and I will probably never subject myself to them again. I’ll just sit back from my internet writing space and whine and bitch like a good lil’ fanboy.

“We are excited to give fans the first chance to see the extended editions of this trilogy in cinemas,” said Fathom Events CEO John Rubey. “The incredible cinematography and action in each feature will be even better on the bigscreen and will give ‘Hobbit’ fans a chance to binge-watch as a community.”

Incredible cinematography, yes (action is debatable), but it would be good if they could include ‘storytelling’ and ‘character development’ in there, because Lord of the Rings sure as hell can.

Of course, this is just my strict ideological belief; while the trilogy got mixed reviews the response was nowhere near as bad as the Star Wars Prequels and they are better movies. If you’re a fan of The Hobbit then you can check out the extended films oooonnnn…

the hobbit extended editions announcement

And you can buy your tickets here. There’s also a trailer!

This is not the sort-of thing for general audiences; this is for the die-hard Tolkein nerds who will sit for a total of nine hours or so while their butts go numb. If you’re that sorta fan, then I applaud you – and you should buy tickets. The movies themselves may not be too great (or they could be to you) but this would probably be a really nice community event and a good opportunity to meet and discuss the trilogies with other fanboys and fangirls.

Are you excited to watch the extended editions of The Hobbit on the big screen and find out what The Battle of Five Armies does that warrants an R rating? Sound off below.