by Nick Dourian

STAR WARS EPISODE 7 Wants Young, Sexy, Plain as Pie Actors

19 June, 2013 2

We’ve just received a very generic list of characters from J. J. Abram’s upcoming STAR WARS EPISODE 7.

That’s it. I’ve got nothing witty or disgusting to say about the matter. This mundane piece of news doesn’t conjure any revolting erotic fantasies regarding carbonite and chocolate pudding. I’m not even reminded of my favorite Sarlacc Pit joke (penis… it has to do with a fanged penis)

This news is THAT boring…

“A young man aged between 20 and 25, witty and smart, fit but not classically handsome,

Man in late twenties, also fit, but this one is handsome and confident.

Late teenage girl, independent, good sense of humour, also… physically fit .

Second young female, also late teens, tough, smart and physically fit.

Man in his forties, obviously physically fit, this one is a military type.

A man of around thirty or so, this one is an intellectual type.

Finally, a guy aged around seventy, strong opinions and tough.”

That was… informative. The only bit of info that really caught my eye was the mention of a seventy year old bro. Is that Han Solo? Or could it be Luke Skywalker? The rest of the cast seems like the typical Hollywood fodder. The kind typically assembled to erect teenage pocket tents in theatres.

But if I can have one word on the matter… one of these female leads should most definitely be played by Jennifer Lawrence. Is there any other option?

SOURCE: Bleeding Cool

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Nick Dourian
Heyo. I'm Nick Dourian, the Editor-In-Chief around these parts. Now, I went to a few other sites, read a few awesome bios, and I really want to fabricate a badass origins story for myself, but I'm feeling particularly unimaginative today, so 'f' that jazz. I read comics, drink bourbon, and cook meats. Imagine Ron Swanson, but with a fuller beard and cuter eyes.
  • Hulon Pate

    Jacen & Jaina ,+ Anakin Solo , Sal Solo,Wedge Antilles, admiral thrawn, Mara Jade perhaps?

    • LordRyus

      I dont see Mara Jade their… since she’d be in her 50s and the only two casting calls for a female are for teenaged women. That said these calls are for the big roles, Mara (if in it) could just have a small role. Please have Mara in the movie Disney, Please…

      Why recast Wedge though? And as to Sal Solo he looks just like his cousin Han Solo but with a beard, so slap a beard on Harrison Ford… problem solved.

      Thrawn should be played by John Noble, who already wants in the film… problem solved no casting needed.

      Though casting for Jacen & Jaina imho is a must, the other male spot Id prefer go to an aged up Ben Skywalker, and the other female spot be his future girlfriend. The older 20ish male spot be reserved for Jaina’s bf. Jacen can find a gf in the next instalment and/or already be in a relationship with a minor character not having a casting posted here