No Dino Feathers For JURASSIC PARK 4

This might be a small fanboy gripe in the grand scope of geeky grievances (Han shot first!), but I’ve always been a bit annoyed by the downy feathered dinosaurs in Jurassic Park 3. Sure, if we’re being anatomically accurate, then dino’s wore dapper jackets of multi-colored quills, but that’s not really scary, is it? And, after all, that’s a huge chunk of the lasting appeal in the JP flicks: scaley, green lizard monsters are shit yo’self levels of scary. Well, that fact, and the unending charm of near-autistic Michael Goldblum, “God created dinosaurs. God destroyed dinosaurs. God created Man. Man destroyed God. Man created dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man”.

Well, if you were worried that Jurassic Park 4 ‘s T-Rexes/T-Reges/T-Regum (many apologies to my Latin professors, forgot the plural!) and velociraptors would be adorned in glorious tufts, then worry no more! Newly appointed director, Colin Trevorrow has decreed no feathers, and his word is law! Unless the studio butts in, in which case we’re back at square one.

 

That’s a huge sigh of relief. The “Nick Lachey” dino, as I’ve lovingly termed him, still haunts me.  I wonder how much hair gel that sexy little beastie used for this photo?  I bet he sends this head shot to all the lucky raptor ladies to soften them up for his wildly inappropriate dino dick pics.

Shame on you velociraptor.

Shame on you.

SOURCE: Twitter

Author
Heyo. I'm Nick Dourian, the Editor-In-Chief around these parts. Now, I went to a few other sites, read a few awesome bios, and I really want to fabricate a badass origins story for myself, but I'm feeling particularly unimaginative today, so 'f' that jazz. I read comics, drink bourbon, and cook meats. Imagine Ron Swanson, but with a fuller beard and cuter eyes.
  • Jake

    LOL Fun read, Jurassic park’s Dinosaur’s don’t need feather’s because there not real Dinosaur’s.

    They might have the over-all appearance of them, an some of there unique quality’s an actions.

    But they also have frog an other reptile DNA in them, Which is why ”Dilophosaurus” has a cobra like frill, Spino has wrists, T-Rex can run 32+mph an Raptors are overly intelligent.”

    Or as Alan grant put it from the awful JP3 (Genetically Engineered theme park monsters)

    This is a movie meant to entertain, not a documentary.. So Dinosaur’s don’t need to be accurate

  • http://www.facebook.com/donald.ridenbaugh Donald Ridenbaugh

    Who wants dinosaurs actually looking like dinosaurs ? What a concept! Am I right ? Accuracy is for chumps!