Marvel, Please Don’t Make a NAMOR Movie Like This

As I was perusing the dark alleys of the interwebs I came across this very bizarre movie trailer for EMPIRES OF THE DEEP. It’s some sort of Chinese produced underwater epic about mermaids and magical crustaceans, all meagerly garbed in some pretty terrible CGI. It’s pretty unfortunate that one of my favorite actresses Olga Kurylenko **cough** nudie scenes in Hitman **cough** is bound to this stinker, but I’m sure she’ll bounce back.  Hopefully as The Black Widow in future Avengers movies after actress Scarlett Johansson’s tragic departure to pursue life in Pennsylvania’s Amish community… or that’s how I think it’ll play out.

Anyways, after wasting 2 precious minutes of my almost certainly short life (damn you, Korean fried chicken!) on this trailer, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons between it and Marvel’s own subterranean property, Namor. Even though Exec. Kevin Feige would probably handle the Prince of Atlantis with a bit more tact, he’d still be a goofy fish-man (I know he’s a mutant/Atlantean hybrid, please don’t skewer me for my shitty jokes, readers). I’m not exactly sure how the creative minds would adapt him for the big screen, but at least they know how NOT to do it.