“That was a wicked awesome lightsabaw throw Luke!”
While hitting the press rounds for his unfortunate flop Broken City, Mark Wahlberg was asked to chime in with his thoughts about J. J. Abrams and the new Star Wars trilogy. Sensing an opportunity to kiss some serious ass, the old dog put on a fine shade of lipstick and began one of the most sheepish rounds of puckery I’ve ever seen.
“I love J.J. Abrams. I’ve only seen the original Star Wars when I was a kid. My dad really wasn’t into sci-fi so I grew up watching Cagney, Steve McQueen, John Garfield, Robert Ryan – movies like the one I just made, Broken City. But I’m interested in seeing what J.J. did [on Star Trek into Darkness]. I remember him asking me to play Captain Kirk’s father in Star Trek and I tried to read the script and I couldn’t understand the words, or the dialogue or anything so I said, ‘I couldn’t do this, I think you’re really talented but I can’t do it.’ And then I saw the movie and I said holy [shite], he did a great job. So I think he’ll do something spectacular [with Star Wars] and I probably wouldn’t pass up another opportunity to work with J.J. again so if he wanted me to do something and I couldn’t fully understand, I would probably give it a shot.”
Even though he was pretty stealthy about his intentions, it sounds to me like ol’ Marky Mark wants a spot in STAR WARS : EPISODE 7. In which case, I know I can speak on behalf of fandom in a terrible Boston accent when I say…
NO! FAHK NO! PLEASE GAWD NO!
Wahlberg’s already dived into the next Bay-formers flick (which is destined to achieve its lofty, blockbuster dreams of mediocrity), so for the love of all that is geeky, lay off Star Wars!
I know that may sound like the petty squabble of a computer addicted geek (which it is), but Disney only has one shot to redeem the series after the Prequels, and I don’t want to see that squandered with Marky Mark.
I really do like the dude in his non-genre fare (Boogie Nights, Rock Star, Perfect Storm), but he’s straight AIDS for sci-fi.
Alright, that last statement may be a bit too harsh. I hope this cute picture of a Jedi Ewok softens the blow.