J. Jonah Jameson Goes On Beautiful Rant in Latest Daily Bugle Viral

jamesonI miss seeing J. Jonah Jameson on the big screen.  Some of my favorite moments from the original Spidey trilogy were of Jameson bickering with Peter.  Sadly, in the Amazing Spidey cinematic universe, Petey hasn’t started working at the Bugle yet, so Jameson hasn’t appeared on screen.

How I long to hear Jameson disrespect the idiots and dumb@$$es surrounding him.  In fact, I think Jameson as essential to Spidey mythology as Aunt May or Mary Jane.  Just look at the last few years of Spidey comics, Jameson has had a bigger presence than either Aunt May or Mary Jane.  Even though he is not set to appear in Amazing Spidey 2, the Daily Bugle website has posted his latest beautiful rant exposing Spider-Man for the menace he truly is.  

Here it is:

daily bugle

An Editorial from Daily Bugle publisher J. Jonah Jameson

Recently, Spider-Man got involved in the apprehension of a carjacker. The web he spun blocking the thief’s path on East 61st Street forced the driver to divert to First Avenue. While driving in the wrong direction, the carjacker hit four cars, one of which crashed through the front of a coffee shop…one of those places that serves that stupid latte art Melissa Hutchins loves so much. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but police estimate over four hundred thousand in damages were incurred.

Of course, civilians applauded as the wall-crawling vigilante pulled the thief out of his damaged car. Did any of them notice the damage left in Spider-Man’s wake?

Last December, Spider-Man pursued a bank robber named Herman Schultz who was using homemade weapons that emitted vibrational shock waves. Over two hundred photos of Schultz, hanging upside down from a twisted street light in a cocoon of webbing, were posted online. Including several with police officers (all of whom were reprimanded).

Did anyone consider that during Spider-Man’s prolonged pursuit and apprehension of Schultz, a city bus, a police car, two streetlights, a fire hydrant and twenty feet of sidewalk were destroyed? Estimated damage: $2.8 million dollars.

And who’s paying for Spider-Man’s actions? I am. You are. And every other taxpayer in this city. It’s clear Spider-Man’s results do not justify the reckless methods he employs. When is he going to finally realize this and just stop?

Did you see the reference to Spidey kicking the Shocker’s (aka Herman Schultz’s) @$$?  Oooooh yeah, baby!

Source: Daily Bugle

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Jay Deitcher, LMSW(@mrdeitcher) is a sexy Jew who teaches courses on comic history and runs successful Free Comic Book Day events yearly.  He is the information superhighway.  You can see a listing of his incredible articles at JayDeitcher.com.

Author
Jay Deitcher is a writer and licensed social worker from Albany, NY. He is currently taking MFA courses at the College of St. Rose. You can read his other work at JayDeitcher.com.
  • TheGoddamnBader

    The Shocker is one of the most underrated Spider-Man villains.