Oh Britain, you’re a quirky little island, aren’t you?
Littered with fine curry shops, grandmothers who serve blood pudding like barrel chested NAZI den mothers, and beautifully broad bodies (I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen an Anglo with curves), I’ve grown to appreciate your entertaining cultural habits.
But this Game of Thrones nonsense might be a step too far…
According to a recent survey, British parents have dipped their greedy little mits into George R. R. Martin’s secret cache of names, Christening their newborns as precious little Tyrion, Sansa, Arya, and a slew of other co-opted monikers.
Quite frankly, I’m appalled at these actions (sarcasm folks!). Not only is a bit cringe worthy (and TOO geeky), but if you exploit one of your favorite fanboy properties to name the fruit of your loins, then at least get creative.
Why not “The Hound”? He’s far less popular than the other protagonists, and that bit of hipster-inspired name selection will reduce your “I’m a tool who named my kid after Game of Thrones” standing by a good bit.
Or we could go the hillbilly route, and combine two names to achieve the “Deliverance” effect. How about Sansa-Jill? Cersei-Ann? Khaleesi-Jane?
Or copy the modern celebrity, and name your child after a location like “Winterfell”? You’ll avoid the pitfalls of choosing an obvious name like Sansa, but still retain the desired Westeros reference in your child’s name.
After all, that’s what it’s all about, right? You want to be reminded of a brutal medieval world filled with rapists and vagina demons every time you utter your kid’s Game of Thrones inspired name.
Well, perhaps that’s a bit hypocritical of me. After all, if I ever have a son, I’m totally naming him Walter White. I’m still trying to figure out how I can fit a “Bitch” in there. I might have to wait for his confirmation.
Here’s the statistical break down:
We had four boys named Tyrion, 68 named Ned, 15 named Theon (yikes!), and eight named Bran.
On the girls’ side, I see four named Sansa, 104 named Arya, three named Catelyn, and sadly zero named Cersei.