Something’s Fishy With COULSON’s Return. Is He A Robot?

Wade carefully eager minds, as this post contains massive spoilers for Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD pilot episode.

According to the first official reviews (which you’ll be glad to know are resoundingly positive), Agent Coulson’s return/resurrection/un-deadification was addressed in this first episode. It’s all a bit fishy, with only a few hints revealed, but Maria Hill’s comments are particularly suspicious.

Here’s a recap:

“They do some walking and talking and Coulson reveals that he had “only stopped breathing for 40 seconds” after his run in with the “Asgardian Mussolini” aka Loki in THE AVENGERS and that he had recovered for a few weeks in Tahiti. He’s aloof about the incident and plays it with the same Coulson humor we’ve all come to know and love. There’s also an underlying, almost romantic link between Coulson and Hill, which I’m not sure was intentional or not. Their “moment” is broken when a medical S.H.I.E.L.D. agent enters the scene and Coulson exits. The medical agent turns to Hill and says something to the effect of “He still doesn’t know, does he?” to which Hill responds that he “never can know.”

What doesn’t he know!!!???? Don’t tease us like this, Whedon!

I know this is how television works, but come on! This entire template is regurgitated, boring, and downright cruel. You create a mediocre mystery that could easily be explained in a few minutes of conversation, but instead milk it for all its worth across an entire season of episodes. And let’s just hope the confusion surrounding Coulson’s resurrection is limited to this season. Imagine if it were dragged on for the entire series?

For what it’s worth, I think the cause of Coulson’s longevity is either 1) he’s actually a robot, a Life Model Decoy to be precise OR 2) a really shady piece of technology or Asgardian magic has been used to resurrect him.

What do you think?


Heyo. I'm Nick Dourian, the Editor-In-Chief around these parts. Now, I went to a few other sites, read a few awesome bios, and I really want to fabricate a badass origins story for myself, but I'm feeling particularly unimaginative today, so 'f' that jazz. I read comics, drink bourbon, and cook meats. Imagine Ron Swanson, but with a fuller beard and cuter eyes.
  • skarlis

    I think he’s either a robot or a clone… I’m leaning towards clone.

  • Dr Rotwang!

    That wasn’t just a SHIELD medical technician. That was Ron Glass.

  • Charles Purvis

    Notice that every time Coulson mentioned his time on Tahiti, he added, “it’s a magical place.” It happened often enough that it felt like a clue.

  • Primus

    Ron Glass was awesome to see again. Yay to Sheppard Book!

  • NerfDaDerf

    big ups kudos and awhyeaaahs to seeing shepherd back on screen

  • Eric

    i love the agent coulson role, but i’m a stickler for continuity. not overly keen on them bringing him back to life for no other reason then to shill the new show. call me a pessimist, but i don’t have high hopes for this one

  • poloman77

    I think he’s an android of Agent Coulson who did die in The Avengers. The twist is he doesn’t realize he’s an android. He’s the Vision.

  • Dylan!


  • bmg314

    He’s an android. Eventually he will have a potentially fatal malfunction, for which Tony Stark will be called in to repair. Jarvis will be downloaded into the Coulson android to assist in said repair. Tony will try to improve Coulson, something will go wrong, and Ultron will be born. Ultron will upload into a suit and then begin his upgrades. The original Coulson android will eventually recover, but now permanently fused with a downloaded version of Jarvis, will become… Vision.


    • NerfDaDerf


  • Bam504

    Coulson died and this one is really a clone?

  • TK

    Temple of Valtorr (in the Marvel Universe) – Located 15 kilometers off the Northern coast of Tahiti, and at the bottom of the ocean floor.

  • Ryan

    He’s a super soldier. Think about it, he idolizes Cap, and they boy carrying the tin can shield at the end of Captain America is named Phil. He could have been given a different super soldier serum because he fit the same psych profie as Cap does, a very honorable, brave, good man. The super soldier serum also reduces aging.

  • Hotrod

    The big secret is that Nick Fury ruined his vintage Captain America trading cards. Duh!

  • Andronomyous

    Tie-in to Doctor Strange. Why do you think he keeps referring to Tahiti as “A Magical Place”?

  • Astrochronic Beta

    seriously? The writer of the article did not even think of the possibility of him being a clone? And 2 is actually two different scenarios. Amateur writing, but anyway…. Here is what I would do if I was a writer on this project:

    Its Coulson’s physical body resurrected by nanobots recovered from alien technology in secret, (and somehow it ties with Asgard, perhaps they are looking for the technology after defeating another rival alien race that refused to share it with them). I don’t know. That’s just off the top of my head folks.