star-wars

CONTRARIAN FANBOY: WHY “STAR WARS” NEEDS A REMAKE


star wars CONTRARIAN FANBOY: WHY STAR WARS NEEDS A REMAKE
I’m diving into two touchy subjects here today. A)Most fanboys seems to think The Holy Trilogy is untouchable, and B) most of us are sick and tired of remakes/reboots. But before you let out a cheesy Vader-style “NOOOOOO!!”, hear me out.

There are two undeniable facts we need to accept in order to move on with our lives. The first is that remakes/reboots aren’t going anywhere any time soon. For heaven’s sake, we’re getting a Spider-Man reboot within 6 years of the final installment of the first trilogy. I’m ok with this on the grounds that I don’t want my kids to think Spiderman is all about emo eyeliner and dancing through the streets. The second undeniable fact is that as Star Wars gets older as a series, it gets further away from what made it great. Thanks George Lucas for such unnecessary additions as Greedo shooting first, midichlorians, young Anakin replacing old Anakin in the final scene of Return of the Jedi, and of course Jar Jar Binks.

What these changes tell me is that Lucas desperately wants his saga to endure despite age and continue to suck in new fans. Gotta sell some toys after all. But it also tells me that he is too out of touch and possibly too close to the material to allow it to fully develop new angles, light, and tones that could carry it into the next couple of generations. I’ve seen high quality work come from video games, comic books, and novels that take place in a galaxy far, far, away. And you know what the difference between the movies and those formats is? Old George had little to nothing to do with the writing and development of the alternative mediums. Every one of his moves in the series, including the entirety of the newer trilogy seem very obviously to be a cash grab based on what he thinks the fans want. It has become apparent that what he thinks and what we want are two very different things. I want Han to shoot first…he needs to have that dark edge. I want the mystery of the force to be as powerful as force lightning, I want a crusty old Anakin standing next to crusty puppet Yoda and crusty Alec Guinness. And for the love of Jabba, I don’t want Jar Jar Binks. It’s time to hand it over George, and here’s why:

Exhibit A:

Star Trek(2009) proved that with a proper talented fanboy and some fresh eyes on a stale franchise, wonders can happen. JJ Abrams maintained the overall themes and fun nature of the beloved-series, as well as made it accessible to a whole new generation of not only fanboys, but mainstream audiences alike. Granted, Abrams found a loophole to reinvent the original series without destroying it via time-travel and parallel reality, which I would not recommend for Star Wars. But let’s face it: The acting in the original Trek was campy and corny. The same can be said of much of the cast of all Star Wars films, except Harrison Ford. This might be indulgent, but I think that he’s immune to criticism…ever.

But it’s a well known fact that Lucas’s writing was, to put it nicely, disgustingly stale. Carrie Fisher, still faithful to the Original Trilogy, often complained about the horribly technical jargon that Georgey ladled into the script. It’s no wonder the performances are often over-the-top and over dramatic. How else were they gonna make this stuff interesting? For some, that’s part of the charm. As time goes on and the newer generations become more accustomed to higher quality performances in their sci-fi, these films are simply going to turn some folks off.

Exhibit B:

The re-imagined Battlestar Galactica has, in recent years, filled the ever-widening sci-fi/fanboy void left by Star Wars. As it stands, when my kids get old enough, I intend to show them BSG before Star Wars. Mainly because I don’t feel I have to apologize for BSG. It’s solid, well-written, with space battles more epic than the final battle in Return of the Jedi, which used to be my favorite scene in anything. Ever.

This is a prime example of taking what doesn’t work out, and tweaking what does work to create something bold and fresh. The themes and epic nature of Star Wars has become watered down to the point where even if they released Episodes 7-9 tomorrow, I would only go to the theater out of a sense of obligation with very low expectations. While Revenge of the Sith had some of the best moments in all 6 films, these moments were conceptualized and known as canon years before, back when George still had some edge.

I would like to say that the lightsaber battles are the saving grace of the new trilogy, and this style of fighting is much preferred to Luke’s uncalculated, wild swinging. Those are really the only scenes that get me excited anymore. There are definitely inherent problems with recreating the Star Wars universe. Do you write the story just as it was before, and simply recreate the scenes? Or do you risk it all and tell a story no one will see coming? An unenviable task to be sure, as there will be a backlash the likes of which have never been seen. But before long, it won’t be about you and me anymore. This is about the kids of the future. Do we choose to keep this relic as our own, risking further detachment from future pop culture? Or do we sever our ties and make a sacrifice for the good of the epic saga enduring down the line? The potential is still in there, just buried deep below George Lucas’s piles of money.

What would an episode of this series be like, written, directed, and performed by some of today’s most talented artists? Sound off below on your thoughts!

 

 

 

 

S#!T Talking Central

  • http://twitter.com/FatsMclemlich stephen lemlek

    Dude, I agree completely. This is my absolute dream team…Ridley Scott as the director and for the writers: David Franzoni (Gladiator) and William Monahan (Kingdom of Heaven, Departed, Body of Lies)

  • http://unleashthefanboy.com Ciaran

    no way! the releases in 3d which will go through to 2018 are fine, and have a new trilogy ready for release in 2018, no to remakes, yes to more stories in that universe

  • Chad Perron

    Well, see, I actually like midichlorians, one of the only additives that most people think is trash. Its making a scientific way of kind of testing “force adepts.” But then again, Im the same guy who actually enjoyed the mentally retarded/simple kind of Jar Jar character, and really his whole race, as Boss Nass did not seem like he could do much Algebra, and apparently he is the “king” or whatever. Remakes? I wouldn’t not see them, nor would I say, NOOOOO don’t do that. But more so…I think doing a trilogy over the Dark Empire(10 years after Return of the Jedi) and doing it right…while the actors are still alive, and so forth, would be cool. But, the thing about a remake of any of the star wars franchise movies…I would remember that we would be waiting for the same people who did it kinda wrong…(some thinks more wrong than others) to do it again…so in good classic Star Wars mythology….I’d have a bad feeling about this. hehe. This is just my two and a half cents. lol.

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  • http://twitter.com/dvorahsimon Dvorah Simon

    agree with most of what you said, but…. what makes you think it’s just fanBOYS who like this stuff?

  • croky

    The problems with geeks like yourself is that you tend to confuse what’s your opinion with what is an analytic judgment. Exhibits ?! Are you joking ?

    I’m a big fan of the series myself but I won’t let my judgement be clouded by arguments that don’t serve a bigger purpose. The bigger purpose is the story told, which is epic just by itself. I mean, it’s this the future of the “pop culture” you want, reinventing the past over and over ? Why not making side stories, like the Hobbit in regards to LoTR ? Anyway, who cares about pop culture anyway …

    You do give two good examples. BSG and Star Trek. But they are based in series, not movies. And that makes a huge difference. The narrative, objective and the dynamics are all different. How would you remake episodes 4-6 ? Make it better by adding more bells and whistles, more spectacular light saber fights ? More CGI ? I mean what’s the point ? Pimping it up ? That’s what episodes 1-3 were and they mostly failed because focus was lost in telling an epic story.

    God … once you realize what’s really behind a good movie, you’ll start sensing little details and probably gain some understanding why I’m telling you this. I’ll guarantee, you’ll be happier in life as well. As of now “There’s too much confusion”

  • Freefinger

    What,s the point of rebooting episodes 4-6?? None of your points make any sense. Star Trek? Battlestar Galactica?? Compared to Star Wars even they were “Cheesy” back in the day. The original 3 were in fact the best of all 6 movies.

    While Revenge was good in some points, it was still horrible in almost every aspect ..

    If you had presented Vader in that light no one would’ve been even afraid of him when he makes that incredible entrance in Episode 4.

    He’s powerful and takes the screen by storm where as the ending of Revenge he’s just an dumbass half-wit who got robotics attached to him and gets the Frankenstein treatment from Lucas which makes that scene so ridiculous.

    DO NOT TOUCH THE FIRST 3 EVER AGAIN!.. Hell .. bring back old Anakin which makes so much sense since he died as an older man!

    The next 3 must be a reflection of 4 to 6.. They need to bring back Han Solo, Leia, Luke and Chewie to tied it all back.

    While Solo, Leia and Chewie could only be there for some of the background storyline, we need to see Luke getting the Jedis back to the next phase, the complete return of them to take back the rest of the Empire.

    Killing the Sith Master doesn’t make the whole thing “Ok we won.. now go back home and take off them helmets you clones..”, no it bring others to the forefront, Generals, Colonels who want to continue what they have! Control!

    You get them back into that Emperor seat if you will, and have them go full on attack against the rebels lead by the new Jedi order create by Luke.

    There must be more Jedis that either escaped or have been born since the crappy Episode 3…

    Now that would make an awesome movie!

    • Melwing

      Just FYI, he’s talking about the ‘reimagined’ Battlestar Galactica that ran for four seasons on Sci-Fi (I believe 2004-2009?). And (in my opinion) it was utterly the best sci-fi I’ve ever seen; and this is coming from a life-long Star Trek/Wars fan. BSG tops even Firefly for me.

      • WILLIAMDWYER

        BG was very good. But Firefly ran what 11 episodes and an incomplete story? From that is spawned a franchise and movie with devoted fans. Firefly takes the cake.

  • Loosey

    Ummm guys? You DO realize this was written on November 29th, 2011, almost a complete year to the day ago, right?

    • Barfman

      A trick he learned from Se7en.

    • croky

      It seems my other reply was censored with no explanation given.

      In regards to commenting a year old article I see no problem at all. All arguments still stand because nothing has changed. I do know episode 7 is in the making but why is it so “Ummm guys?” when everything else hasn’t changed ?

      Btw, if you censor this reply, please delete my other comment.

  • acrossalloceans

    It seems to be the popular thing to remake films but when is it truly ever better than the original. The examples you cite aside, you ask any fan what the preference is, and the original will always prevail. The original trilogy is untouchable and to do so would only tarnish the Star Wars series. With the reaction to the prequels being so negative, to tamper with the originals would only anger and alienate such a huge and devoted fanbase. Everyone knows how many people got upset when Lucas edited them, could you imagine if they were remade? Headache. Appreciate them but move on. There is just entirely too much other material to use on 7-9, it would be a shame to see such wealth wasted.

  • skeptic

    The change in the final scene of Return of The Jedi was NECESSARY, because Anakin never looked like that fat old guy. He was still a young man when he was scarred.

    • croky

      Necessary ?!? Lol !!! People get old you know, and some, will get fat. What is you don’t understand with that ? Don’t you remember the scene when Luke takes the helmet off of Vader and the “fat old guy” is seen ?

      What about Obi-Wan. Why didn’t make him young as well ? It makes no sense changing that scene in any way. In fact it was utterly unnecessary , a nonsense, replacing old Anakin with young Anakin !

      Btw, did you know that if you get a scar when young, it will still be there when you’re old ? It’s amazing isn’t it ?!?

  • Will

    You lost me when you cited Abrams Trek and Battleshit Galatica. These are awful examples of reboots. Personally I’d enjoy a Star Wars “reboot” and by that I mean maybe the vocal track from the originals used with an animated visual presentation. It would allow for continued stories without the fear and restrictions of aging actors. But that’s me and I don’t speak for everyone or what is best for Star Wars.

  • gene Shallot

    The reason he’s young is because that’s what he looked like when he “died” and turned to the dark side

  • http://twitter.com/gjlook gee j

    Original Star Wars was more than a good film – it defined a generation, Gone with the Wind defined an earlier generation . I don’t like Gone /w Wind but id hate to see it re-filmed. Empire strikes back is another, but different case . It is a masterclass in story progression in terms of cinema. These films bring great value. . Yes digitally enhance the picture and audio quality but leave the end product alone . Its a bit like music – think of a song you really like from say 70′s – would you rather that song be digitally remastered – or would you rather one of today’s pop singers completely re-record the song and the original trashed ?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Sharky.RS Rich Smith

    Leave the old movies alone already! They stand on their own just fine, and are great movies. If Disney really wants to do anything, talk to bioware and release an animated old republic movie to make up for the disastrous wreck that SWTOR turned out to be after they released captivating animated trailers.

  • WILLIAMDWYER

    It’s not so much of treading on dangerous ground, but more like putting a touchy subject out there for the sake of discussion. From that aspect I can respect your opinions on why SW needs a reboot. Unfortunately I see your examples as lacking.

    Exhibit A: Star Trek (2009), there are enough pros and cons to go with this reboot. But primarily with those who have been paying attention…fans have been generally against this since the end of ST: Voyager (when the first rumors of a “prequel” or reboot first became known). Once ST: Enterprise ended on a sour note, the rumor mill exploded with ideas of how to reboot. The main component of those who argued against a reboot, was that it seemed the studio just gave up thinking of new stories in the (future) current timeline. Even going as far as publicly saying that Star Trek had over saturated itself…and ultimately blamed the viewers. This kick back was a tremendous slap in the face to the fans. That being said the new ST movies piloted by JJ Abrams is nothing more than flash. Jokes about lens flares abound, don’t you dare call JJ abrams a “fanboy”. There are plenty of examples that Abrams was not ever a fan of Star Trek before he took the helm. Now does this mean you have to be in order to direct a ST movie? No, of course not…but this outright lie that Abrams is some ubber-trekkie has gone far enough. As far as your comment about the original casts acting being campy and corny. It’s undeniable. yet have you watched the 2009 Star Trek? The entire film up to Jim being named Captain is campy. Whether it’s a kid in a car chase, bar fights, numb-tongue, gigantic hands, verbal jabs between Spock and Jim…it’s one silly scene or joke after another. The 2009 ST did well at the box office, simply because of the hype surrounding it. Even the negativity by fans…was used to help the new films.

    Exhibit B: Battlestar Galactica is not recent as it is ten years old already…I know…shocking. But with that small quib aside, this is what really should have been focused on as a franchise in desperate need of a reboot. The original 2 seasons had become old, broken, and as far as anything in the pipeline, already dead. Sure it had fans, but nothing on the scale of what Star Trek or Star Wars has to this day. No matter what kind of tweaking and gender swaping casting, it introduced the frame of the franchise in a new way to a completely new audience. But even then we see it’s spin offs Caprica and Blood & Chrome died very quickly.

    Rebooting franchises is a sticky business. Paramount accomplished this with Star Trek because they own it, the creator has been long gone, and they have actively been set against brand new stories ever since the big fan backlash from the 4th season of ST: Enterprise. (Where the only episodes worth watching are the ones penned by Manny Coto.) The series finale itself was a slap in the face to every Original Series fan in existence. And while probably untrue, felt as if it was purposely done as a “FU” to fans.

    Movies like Spiderman are being rebooted for different reason as the license for Spiderman has been fought over between Sony and Marvel. As cult classic Franchises as Battlestar Galactica are, they are prime for reboots as their originals FAILED. Rebooting would be the only way to recreate the cash cow.

    What I do not understand is the need to reboot already established financially golden franchises. Star Trek didn’t need a reboot. They could have easily created the 2009 version without erasing the entire story. Rick Berman (a writer/producer/etc for ST) once said that creating new stories within the ST universe became too watered down. That doing prequels for Star Trek (Meaning St: Enterprise), was too difficult as they had to stick to canon.

    In my humble opinion, it is a cop-out and crap saying this. There are so many writers out there who have come up with interesting ST stories that have nothing to do with time travel, prequels, nor reboots. The Star Trek Online game for one, even uses part of the 2009 Star Trek storyline.

    Unfortunately, the very thing Paramount wanted to avoid, they are already writing themselves into corners. Without spoilers, the main villain in “ST: Into Darkness”, is a reboot himself. What was the purpose of rebooting the franchise complaining about writing within canon, if you are going to use the same villains, and even similar storylines as movies and episodes past? Wasn’t the idea to move ST into a fresh area? So why are they rehashing old storylines?

    Paramount simply became lazy. Star Trek was already a cash cow. Poor writing and poor direction put them in the position to want a reboot. Now that they have it, they are still putting forth the same old same.

    You cannot convince me that Star Trek and Star Wars needs rebooting. As the name of the game is money. The billion dollar sale of Star wars to Disney alone disproves the need of a reboot altogether. (Not to mention Lucas seems dead against it, as part of the sale for Star Wars, was that Disney was required to follow Gearge’s outline for 7, 8, and 9.)

    The money is already there, you just need to keep the cash cow “moo-ing”. That is where Paramount failed. I don’t see Disney making that mistake.

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