There’s nothing quite like the long, insufferable wait before a film’s release. You sit at your computer desk, counting the days as they slowly roll by, devouring every bit of leaked footage and exclusive clips that the internet has to offer. When your excitement has reached a level beyond any normal human’s tolerance, fate shines on you, and you’ll find yourself in that ultra exclusive midnight screening you’ve managed to order tickets for. And as you find your place amongst the crowd of a few hundred brethren, sweaty fanboys, and watch this film which you’ve waited so long to see, you realize something… It sucks. A lot. It blows. It’s a disgrace. A literal shitbag filled with a cornucopia of shitty shit shitiness from the kingdom of Shitdonia.
But it’s not always so bad. Sometimes, no matter how terrible a movie may be, there’s a silver lining surrounding its 14% score on Rotten Tomatoes… it’s music! So now, without any further ado, I’d like to present our list of TOP 5 SOUNDTRACKS FROM TERRIBLE MOVIES…
The Last Airbender
M. Night Shyamalan really dropped the ball on this epic story. The cartoon on which the film’s based is one of the best of the past 20 years, and the movie couldn’t help but fall short of that series’ breadth, but I don’t think anyone expected it to be SO bad. Though, even with the butchered characters and whitened cast, James Newton Howard delivers one of the best Scores I’ve ever heard. The song below, “Flow Like Water”, could easily fit in any of the great Fantasy films of the last 40 years. I fear that it’s gone unnoticed because of Airbender ‘s poor ratings… and its certain similarity to the Pirates of the Carribean soundtrack at times.
Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
This horse can’t survive another beating… but I’ll give it a good swing anyway. We all know that Episode 1 was a disappointment, a terrible film, and an all around sad misadventure for fandom. In between Jar Jar’s annoying squeals and pre-pubescent Anakin’s “Yipee!”, there’s not a lot to love about this flick. Besides the soundtrack of course. John Williams produces another classic score, and better yet, it’s scary. It conveys the terror of Sith’s in such a perfect, powerful way, as seen with “Duel of the Fates”. Too bad Lucas couldn’t keep pace.
Now, this movie is a bit of a mixbag. A fair lot of you despise it, with the completely uninspired “twist” at the end, but I think the first three quarters of the flick is strong enough to ignore the ridiculous final minutes. James Newton-Howard is here again, delivering a stringy masterpiece in “The Gravel Road”
Yeah, this movie wasn’t so good. It delved a bit too greedily into the psychosis of Bruce Banner without addressing the appealing aspects of the Hulk, which is the “Smash!”. Still, Danny Elfman (a veteran of comic book movies) composes a Sci-Fi classic with this main theme.
What can be said about this flick? There were Bat-nips. Isn’t that enough? Composer Elliot Goldenthal did a great job with the soundtrack, though, giving Danny Elfman’s original Batman theme a run for its money.