TOP 5 Wrestlers Who Would Make Way Better COMIC CHARACTERS Than Batista!


Last week, Marvel Studios announced Dave Batista will be playing Drax the Destroyer in the upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Physically, he looks identical to Drax- both are ridiculously ‘roided up monsters. Upsettingly, those doing casting forgot one thing… Batista sucks. For real, for real, he is the boringest ever (although, I should admit our  great Editor-In-Chief loves the guy). I would literally fall asleep when he was on RAW. If he was a mutant, his power would be causing drowsiness in villains.

Wrestling is very similar to comics. In both, there are unrealistic portrayals of women, superhuman characters, tales of good vs. evil, and characters wearing ridiculous costumes. So here is my list of wrestlers who could play awesome comic characters:

 

CM Punk

CM Punk is a huge comic fan and he is one of the best psychological wrestlers ever. His first job was working for his local comic store and he wrote the introduction to the Avengers VS X-Men graphic novel. I think he would make an incredible William Stryker from X-Men: G-D Loves Man Kills, your favorite Christian evangelical mutant hating nut. Punk often portrays an extremist cult leader whose minions blindly follow him. He is known for religious iconography and he can provoke the audience to want to kill him with his verbal “pipe bombs”. If not Stryker, Punk would make a magnificent Magneto.

Christopher Daniels

Daniels is also a fellow delighted fanboy, who originally dreamed of being a comic artist before he entered wrestling. Daniels lists Brian Michael Bendis, Jonathan Hickman and Jason Aaron as his favorite current writers. He made analogies between wrestling and comics when he said “with colorful costumes and witty banter back and forth…That’s basically comic books on the live stage.” Daniel’s ring psychology mirrors the great villains of comics- the villain must believe they fight for a higher cause rather, it is the good guys who are the villains. Since he plays such an excellent villain and is bald, he fits two main characteristics of Lex Luther.

 

Samoa Joe

Everyone knows when Joe is not killing other wrestlers, he is busy reading comics. Samoa Joe is one of the first Samoan wrestlers that broke stereotypes and did not portray a flesh-eating savage. I recently wanted to do a top ten Samoan comic heroes list, but I only came up with one, MONDO! Mondo was a character from the awesome series Generation X, a title about young mutants training to be the next X-Men. Who cares about Mondo? Absolutely no one, but I would love to have a Gen X movie and I think it is about time my Samoan fanboys and fangirls had a hero of their own (technically, Mondo was revealed as a villain in a big swerve, but we will retcon that)!

 

John Cena

John Cena is shoved down our throats as the ultimate American boy scout, every young boy’s dream. He is a super ripped, blonde heartthrob. Who better for him to play than the ultimate American, boy scout blonde heartthrob, Captain America!

 

Chris Jericho

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Jericho is amazing. Everything he does is amazing. During one of his upcoming hiatuses, the next time he swears he is not coming back, he should be cast as the greatest Thor ever. He already portrayed Thor on Attack of Show where he showed he is fluent in speaking “old timey”. He added depth to the character when he admitted he didn’t like fat chicks, asked his dad for money and enrolled in online journalism school.

Also noted: Beth Phoenix as Wonder Woman (they are both Amazons and Phoenix actually looks like a real woman who can fight). Maryse as The White Queen Emma Frost. AJ Styles as Cannonball (both are country bumpkins). The Rock as Iron Man (for the ladies, and to get the haters going), Paul Heymen as Mojo. Raven as Raven (the guy is the biggest comic fanboy ever, has already written a comic, and is pretty much a living comic character.).  Goldust as Mysterio (You will never… forget the name of… MYSTERIO!)

I love comic books and I love wrestling, but I hate Batista and that he is involved with either comic books or wrestling. Now he has tainted two of my favorite pastimes. What other great wrestlers would play amazing comic characters?  What comic characters would make great wrestlers?

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Jay Deitcher, LMSW(@mrdeitcher) is an educator on comic history and runs successful Free Comic Book Day events yearly.  You can see a listing of his incredible articles and his highly energetic videos here.