ASM700.3

Peter Parker Returns In The Relaunched AMAZING SPIDER-MAN- This is Bullcrap!

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spiderman logo Peter Parker Returns In The Relaunched AMAZING SPIDER MAN  This is Bullcrap!

I pee-ed myself when I read Marvel’s December solicitations.  It was very happy excited pee; I geeked out so hard I lost control of my bladder.  My nerd spasm is courtesy of Marvel announcing the return of The Amazing Spider-Man series starring the real, official, original, not-brain kidnapped PETER PARKER baby!

To make the move even more awesome, they are returning to the original numbering of the book.  The issues are to be released with the issue numbers 700.1, 700.2, 700.3, 700.4, and 700.5.  OMG, Marvel is actually putting out a comic with an issue number higher than the age I was when I had my first kiss (yeah, I said OMG- my niece taught me how to talk hip).

I have been one of the biggest whiners about the entire Doc Ock run on Superior Spider-Man.  I even gave up showering until Dan Slott brought Peter back Dan Slott personally knew of my suffering and ignored my plight.  But finally, he is listening (or he finally smelled my stink).

I was just about to end my shower-fast and call a truce with Dan Slott, when I realize IT IS A DANG FLASHBACK!!!

PETER PARKER in NOT returning anytime soon!  I am sure of this.  Not only is Superior Spider-Man still in the solicitations, I realized that these issues are the previously announced Peter Parker:Spider-Man miniseries in disguise.  Months ago, Marvel announced a flashback mini-series by Rambo’s creator David Morrell which would be released in October.  The mini was set to include stories by  Klaus Janson, and Joe Casey also.  These are the same writers as the new Amazing Spidey issues dangit.  They just added a few more stories into the mix and found a way to market it as five dang issues!  UGgggggggggggggghhhhh, my anger is taking over.  JAY SMASH PUNY MARVEL!

Here is what Superior Spider-Ock editor Steve Wacker wrote to a fan in a recent issue of Superior Spider-Man:

parker return Peter Parker Returns In The Relaunched AMAZING SPIDER MAN  This is Bullcrap!

 

Oy, I feel sick.  The shower boycott continues!  Until Dan Slott brings Parker back I will no longer shower or brush my teeth.  Eventually you will smell it Dan!  Eventually you will suffer!

Here are the dang solicitations:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700.1 & #700. 2
DAVID MORRELL (w) • KLAUS JANSON (a)
Covers by PASQUAL FERRY
Variant Covers by KLAUS JANSON
• One year after his death at the hands of the Superior Spider-Man – PETER PARKER IS BACK!
• Acclaimed novelist David Morrell (First Blood) and legendary comics icon Klaus Janson (DAREDEVIL: END OF DAYS) team up to kick off this celebration of the world’s greatest super hero!
• With a blizzard crippling New York City, Spider-Man must protect the city – but Aunt May’s life is in danger!
40 PGS. (EACH)/Rated T …$3.99 (EACH)

amazing spidey 700.1 Peter Parker Returns In The Relaunched AMAZING SPIDER MAN  This is Bullcrap!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700.3 & #700.4
JOE CASEY, JEN VAN METER & CLAY CHAPMAN (W)
TIM GREEN, EMMA RIOS & JAVIER RODRIGUEZ (a)
Covers by PASQUAL FERRY
#700.3 VARIANT COVER BY JOHN TYLER CHRISTOPHER
#700.4 VARIANT COVER BY MIRCO PIERFEDERICI
• Continuing the special celebration of THE ORIGINAL SPIDER-MAN from Man of Action’s Joe Casey & Tim Green (AVENGERS ACADEMY)!
• What is the Black Lodge? And how has Spider-Man been trapped there, surrounded by his deadliest foes? Then, the Black Cat and Spider-Man team-up to bust an international art thievery ring in CAT & MOUSE by Jen Van Meter (CAPTAIN MARVEL) and Emma Rios (AMAZING SPIDER-MAN).
• Finally, a young boy must learn he can’t rely on super heroes like Spider-Man to stand up against bullies in 12 O’CLOCK HIGH by Clay Chapman (AVENGERS: EARTH’S MIGHTIEST HEROES) and Javier Rodriguez (DAREDEVIL).40 PGS. (EACH)/Rated T …$3.99 (EACH)

ASM700.3 Peter Parker Returns In The Relaunched AMAZING SPIDER MAN  This is Bullcrap!asm 700.4 Peter Parker Returns In The Relaunched AMAZING SPIDER MAN  This is Bullcrap!

 

 

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700.5
BRIAN REED & KEVIN GRIEVIOUX (W)
SEAN CHEN & LEE WEEKS (a)
Cover by PASQUAL FERRY
Variant COVER BY IN-HYUK LEE
• Peter Parker and Johnny Storm must stop an apocalyptic future by fighting – the Fantastic Four?! By Brian Reed (MS. MARVEL) and Sean Chen (AVENGERS)!
• Then, a young child risks his life to save Spider-Man’s in the emotional WHAT WOULD SPIDER-MAN DO? By Kevin Grievioux (NEW WARRIORS) and Lee Weeks (AMAZING SPIDER-MAN)!
40 PGS./Rated T …$3.99

Source:  Bleeding Cool, Comic Book Resources

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Jay Deitcher, LMSW(@mrdeitcher) is an educator on comic history and runs successful Free Comic Book Day events yearly.  You can see a listing of his incredible articles at JayDeitcher.com.

S#!T Talking Central

  • Ari Berenstein

    “…your mom and dad’s Peter Parker.” Wow. The insulting attitude of that phrase…

  • This Guy

    That’s just Wacker displaying the attitude that they hope moves more comics. Controversy sells. Hey in the meantime check out “Marvel’s Gone Wack” on facebook for some fun killing time until Peter eventually returns.

  • George Coughlin III

    Dumb,dumb,dumb.They kill off Parker in Ultimate & regular Marvel.What the f__k is up with Marvel.That’s right they need to make more money for Disney.They should just drop the multiple titles on almost every f__king hero or hero group & keep it to one title foe each.DC should do the same thing.

  • Cortney SuperSaiyan Randle

    Otto > Peter

    Superior

    • Drahaka

      When they were dealing with the time window even otto said that he i inferior to Peter.

  • Rick_McRockock

    Andy Kaufmann used to do a thing where he would mess with his audience to the point of engaging them for his own amusement. He laughed to himself at the people who stormed off while certain people would stick around laughing pretending to “get it”… In the meantime Kaufmann resented them too because their was nothing to”get”… He was messing with them for his own contemptuous pleasure. That’s what Superior Spiderman feels like to me.

  • TSurtes1985

    I understand the anguished sentiment, but I’d just like to point out that you’re wrong. The real Spidey flashback miniseries is Marvel Knights: Spider-Man by Matt Kindt and Marco Rudy. The first issue has already been released. I, like you, have no idea what is really going on with the 700.etcs but it’s not the flashback series Slott talked about either. I’ve still got my fingers crossed it’s the real thing.

  • Juan Olivos Cordova

    lul my name is Juan

  • Mark

    I’m not gonna skip my showers, but I’m not buying marvel comics until Pete comes back.. I’ve been on my boycott since issue number one of the inferior spider-deuche. Oh and those mother c@&$ f@&$’s got rid of Kaine, the only reason I was still reading any of their material. Eat it marvel, dan slott, and Marc web for a worse looking green goblin that Sam raimi’s and I really didn’t think they could do worse.

  • Blaineo

    I’m really enjoying Superior, and I have no doubt Peter will return (especially as it was hinted to a few issues back). The mind swap has mixed things up a bit, just enough for Peter to come back fresh and better than ever. Personally I think it was a good way to freshen things up without just rebooting things. If things stay the same too long the story gets stale. My bet is that these issues are Peter in a dream-like reality finding his way back. I’m hoping by issue 5 we’ll see the connection.

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