Marvel Teases Gluttonous Galactus? or Barney?



Marvel’s July solicitations lists a one shot titled Age of Ultron #10 U.C. featuring a “Classified” writer and artist. Marvel also released a mysterious teaser for the issue with the word “HUNGER” in purple letters a crap load of times, over a mix of stars and possibly mountains in the background.

The teaser seems to be hyping the return of the planet eating, cosmic pain in the butt Galactus. Galactus not only loves purple; he is known for being really gluttonous and chillin’ in outer space. Galactus doesn’t enjoy delicious treats like pizza, tacos or Doritos because the bastard likes to eat freakin planets. The worst part is, he will eat the planets without letting lifeforms off them first, because ain’t nobody got time for that (I hate myself for saying that).

Sadly, Galactus has not been cool for years, and is pretty much a big annoying schmoogle. So here are some hip purple characters that have better taste in food:

Hulk has been known to wear purple shorts, and enjoys consuming beans.

Barney could be a total swerve and send shockwaves throughout the industry. Could Marvel have acquired the rights to your nephew’s favorite singing, purple, hug addicted dinosaur? The average age for comic fans is in their 30’s; having Barney join the Avengers would be a great way to market to a younger demographic. I would love to see Barney VS Carnage or Barney try to survive with real dinosaurs in the Savage Land- think of the possibilities! Plus, he loves PB&J sandwiches.

The Green Goblin strangely has the same green and purple color scheme as Barney and enjoys fine expensive eateries.

Hawkeye is one of the only heroes to have a predominantly purple costume (purple is very super-villain chic). We are not sure if he is currently hungry, but he probably will eat if you pay.

Magneto, the master of magnetism, has stated the food sucks at the Weapon X headquarters and he is so hungry he could eat BBQ’d Barney.

So what do you think this mysterious teaser means? What the heck does U.C. stand for (please don’t let it stand for a crossover with Ultimate Comics, I love me some Miles, but keep the universes separate)?

AGE OF ULTRON #10 U.C.
CLASSIFIED (W) • CLASSIFIED (A/C)
32 PGS./One-Shot/Rated T+ …$3.99

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jay Deitcher, LMSW(@mrdeitcher) embraces the term MUTANT and proudly represents his MUTANT brothers and sisters.  He is an educator on comic history and runs successful Free Comic Book Day events yearly.  You can see a listing of his incredible articles and his highly energetic videos here.