Huge DEATH in Fall’s SPIDER-MAN Mega Event. Why I Don’t Care.

–Warning, very biased news story to follow.  This is in no way the opinion of UnleashTheFanboy as a whole.  Actually, Jay totally sucks for writing this–

Be ready to be shocked.  A future Spider-Man storyline will feature “a universe changing event for the world of Spider-Man.”  Oh no, not “universe changing”!  But it is true; it’s real true. 

Marvel’s SVP of Print, Sales & Marketing, David Gabriel, stated that in a few short weeks Marvel will be announcing a “blockbuster event from one of the hottest writers in the industry” and “the demise of a fan-favorite character.”  Cue in dramatic music.

I don’t care. 

Yup, I said it.  I don’t care. 

dan slott

The “hottest writer,” Dan Slott, is known for hyping up huge “universe changing” events that end up being bullcrap for shock value (and it works, his comics sell like hotcakes- hotcakes made of crack cocaine).  Slott is the dude who killed Peter, replaced him with Doc Ock, had Peter’s consciousness live in Doc Ock’s head, then hyped up killing Peter’s consciousness, and will have a “universe changing event” when Peter returns.  Oy.  Double oy. Triple oy, Quadroople oy (I spelled quadroople like that on purpose, it is funnier).

doc ock spiderman

At first, I figured that this “demise of a fan-favorite character” would end up being Doc Ock’s consciousness, who we know will still be haunting Peter head.  But then I remembered that Slott was hyping up a “big storyline” at London Super Comic Con, and he said that it was originally supposed to be in Superior Spidey instead  of Amazing Spidey.  If this is the same “blockbuster event,” then it cannot be Doc Ock’s death because it was originally supposed to take place prior to Peter’s return when they clearly could not kill off their lead character.   Even if this is not the death of Doc Ock, I know Slott will hype up the Peter Vs Doc Ock for control of Petey’s brain a few more times.spidey-400-aunt-may-dies

So who could it be?  I know they don’t got the balls to kill off anyone actually important.

Remember when Marvel had the balls to kill of Aunt May?  That didn’t last long.  Remember when Marvel had the balls to “kill off” Peter?  That didn’t last long.  Remember when Marvel had the balls to kill off Norman Osborn?  Ditto.  Remember when Marvel had the balls to kill of Gwen Stacy?  Wait, aww man.  I’mma go cry now.

So who could it be?  Black Cat?  Doc Ock’s girlfriend (who I actually adore)?  Flash?   

In London, Slott stated, “This could be one of the best Spider-Man stories we’re ever going to tell.”  I’m pretty sure the dude says that to hype up every issue.

Author
Jay Deitcher is a writer and licensed social worker from Albany, NY. He is currently taking MFA courses at the College of St. Rose. You can read his other work at JayDeitcher.com.
  • TheGoddamnBader

    The cynic inside me will say it’s either Mary Jane or Anna Marie.

    • Jay

      Noooo, I actually love them both. My favorite part of Superior is Ock and Anne Marie’s relationship.

  • deimos

    If it’s MJ, I’m seriously not buying that comic ever again, until Slott goes away. Stop humiliating and destroying that character, FFS.